It would be shocking to know that the two most important people in my life aren't who I thought they were after 20 years of living with love and happiness. How do I even look at my dad who is the son of a doting criminal warlord? I can't imagine the pain and torture he has caused his victims. This is devastating because my dad is involved since it's a family business.
My image
It would have been a different story if my mother were neutral, I mean an ordinary woman who fell in love with someone without knowing who he is, but that's not the case either. With my mother also a daughter of a secret agent, she was with him, hiding her true identity, probably just to keep a tab on his life and operations. I don't want to believe that their union isn't grounded in love, and that makes me a child born out of love.
Our parents play a crucial role in our lives, and I am one of those people who believe that we are their replicas. We carry on their trials, legacies, and even traditions, connecting them to the coming generations.
With the responsibility bestowed on us as children, we deserved to be treated not just with love but with honesty. I know sometimes, they think we can't understand some things but this is too much to just accept like that.
Waiting 20 years to know my family history will leave me broken, and my healing wouldn't come from either of my parents because, if they truly loved me, they wouldn't consent to imposing a family business on me, knowing it's something I wouldn't want.
It would even be worse seeing them trying to make me a heir just to continue their operations. I will prefer ruining everything if they force or threaten me.
To be frank, none of them would have me, and that might even be the end of whatever connection we shared. It's enough that they hid their lives from me, dragging me into something I don't want, and shouldn't be added.
Aside from being angry about their real lives or history, I have my dreams and ambitions. Just like every child, I have my dreams, and these are what keep me going every day; they fuel my purpose of existing. For no reason would I throw away my life for them, and even if it comes with the consequences of suffering for not bending to their wish, I don't care because that won't be the end of my world.
I can suffer without their support, but it's just a matter of time; I will find my feet again doing what I love among those who truly care about me. I can't continue my dad's life of a criminal warlord or mom's secret service, I wouldn't want to allow my offspring to suffer the same fate as me.
This is my response to the @Hive-naija prompt, thanks for engaging.