There comes a time when people in relationships go through a rough patch filled with misunderstandings and lovers quarrel. Sometimes, there seems to be a sign of growth in the relationship after a particular misunderstanding you had with your partner. I think it's common to have misunderstandings sometimes in a relationship, but what matters is your ability to reconnect, learn, and grow after a misunderstanding.
I have had this experience in the past with my relationship, and since today is Valentine's Day, where lovers express their affection for their partner, I wish to share my experience regarding this subject. After all, I haven't seen a love without misunderstanding. There are always ups and downs between two lovers or humans raised in different family backgrounds with different upbringings and perspectives about life.
Love is a beautiful thing, and what most people look out for when getting into a romantic relationship with anyone is compatibility. Even with compatibility, misunderstandings surface at a point, leading to emotional distance between partners. When I got married early, I approached lovers quarrels wrongly, and it did make the matter worse most times; however, it became a lesson to me. Back then, whenever I was having issues with my husband, I would call either his friend or his family members, reporting the issues to them without making an attempt to resolve them first. My husband feels embarrassed most times when he receives a call from any of his family members or friends confronting him about our issues. One day, he sat me down and expressed his feelings about my approach to conflict resolution. He reminded me that those people I complain to have their own issues but never carry them out outside, so why me? I must admit my wrongs back then. I reflected on what he said, and I started reading books on relationships, where I got many answers to my relationship.
I am better today and approach love quarrels in a more mature manner, experiencing growth in the process. One of the ways I handle misunderstandings in my relationship is by first giving each other time and space to cool off from our emotions, and by the time I am calmer, I will come to the realization that my partner is not perfect and thus seek to resolve the issues. I will take my time to think through what transpired and how I got to where we are with the issues. In that quiet moment of my life, I will discover where I got things wrong or where it's my partner's fault. Quite moment after a misunderstanding is a must for me since I learned about it. I must have said what ordinarily I shouldn't have said (spoken words cannot be retrieved) out of emotions, or I must have acted wrongly too. If I find myself guilty after the reflection, I will initiate a communication expressing myself, talking through the issue, and genuinely apologizing. If, after my reflection, I discover that it's actually my partner's fault, I will still initiate communication, expressing myself and making him realize his mistakes. The reason I usually take this step is that sometimes my partner sees an apology as a chore, and waiting for him to do so may linger the issue, which is not healthy for our relationship. I don't know about others, but I do get him to realize his mistake and apologize.
So far, we have been understanding ourselves better through adequate communication even after a misunderstanding, thus experiencing growth for a healthier relationship.
How do you handle misunderstandings in your own relationship? Kindly share with me in the comment section.
Before I sign out, happy Valentine's Day to you. Remember to stay positive always🤗🧡❤️
