For the longest time, I always gave the same excuse for the same remark people had about me. In my mind, I used to wonder, "So after walking under this wicked sun for 7+ hours, I should be smiling?" What I failed to understand was that people really address you the way you're dressed, but I only took it literally at that time.
I may not be the most fashionable guy in the block, but you sure will never find me looking bad. At the very least, I am going to have neatly ironed clothes and smell really nice. That should make for a pretty approachable guy, but you hardly would do so if I wasn't also wearing a smile or at least a welcoming expression. It just gives off "mind your business vibes."
In my first year at the university, I regularly got the remark that I was always frowning. It was true, but I only ever realised it when people told me. My reason could have that I was just tired or something. But then, who would know that for real and understand the excuse? Better still, who would care?
The irony is that I am a kind person that would enjoy conversations and probably make you laugh somewhere in between if there's an opportunity to. While I may come off as prideful when I frown, I am actually a very humble person who is empathetic. Again, either I fixed the issue with the face or I continually give people the wrong first impressions.
Understanding why I would unconsciously allow myself not to smile in most cases back then, I realised it was because I projected my emotions onto my demeanour. It shouldn't be that way. I knew I had to master composure. Besides, it takes up more energy to frown than to smile, so I wasn't even helping myself.
Something very interesting about a smile and is highly underrated is what it can do for one as a person and the effect it can have on other people. You make better first impressions with a smile—because it conveys friendliness and happiness. A smile shows genuine interest in others. And it is a universal language.
A smile can make people feel good, and people remember those who make them feel good. More interestingly, it has an inward effect that encourages positivity. "It cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away." As Dale Carnegie put it in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. It therefore made sense how my frowns helped nobody, especially me.
Anything can go wrong in a person's day, but it is not for one to project negative feeling onto other people. It's highly unproductive, and it certainly doesn't help in interactions with people. I had to learn to at least keep a calm face if I wouldn't give a heartwarming smile.
It took a while to make significant changes, but I gradually improved. I had to consciously evaluate my expressions regularly to ensure that I was at least carrying the right attitude. And to help confront it, I would even make the first move to meet people. What I didn't even realise I was doing all the while trying to fix my smile was that I was building confidence and making better connections with people over time.
I don't even have to carry a very big smile all of the time. That would even make me be taken as unserious in certain circumstances. A calm face with a small, gentle smile is just enough, and it works like magic with people.
Inspired by Hive Naija Weekly Prompts