One time, when I was a little boy, my mother was to meet with someone, and she was running late. When the person called her on the phone to ask about her whereabouts, I was utterly perplexed by her response.
At that age, I couldn't fathom what she meant by "I am almost there. You will see me in two minutes. You will see me wearing a green shirt." When, in reality, she was an hour's drive away—with Lagos traffic unaccounted for—and, worse of all, she eventually wore an orange shirt instead.
It was then that I started understanding the concept of "African timing" and the Nigerian approach to certain matters.
Many of us know UTC, GMT, IST, PST, and the like, but one that is underrated and often unaccounted for is the Decentralised African Time (DAT). There is no reference point other than that of whoever is using it and the circumstances they are in when they are using DAT. And, also, it varies for different people. But there is an approximate general formula I'll share in a minute.
My wife and I had a party to attend in town. The party conveners scheduled the party for 9 a.m. And, considering that it was on the other side of town, we agreed to leave at 7 a.m.
As all I had to wear was my agbada attire and shoes, I was ready at 6 a.m. My dear "mine," however, was just starting her make-up and dressing a few minutes after I had finished.
How we left the house at 8:30 AM instead is still unexplainable. What my wife said to me at the time we were about to leave and I was nagging about our lateness was, "What sef, it's not like they would have started at even 10 AM. After all, don't you like what you see now? It's because of you, dear."
 Many years back when I had just finished at the university...good times |
I did like what I saw—my wife making me look like the one and only king on the planet with her dazzling appearance. I snapped from gazing at her beauty and responded, "Oya, Oya, sha, enter the car and let's be going, madam."
If you don't leave your house at 4 AM in Lagos to get to where you're going, especially if it's very far, then you're in for yet another frustration with the slow traffic. And that's how we arrived at the party at 11 a.m. instead.
"You see your life, Mr. Do Fast? They are just starting opening prayers." My wife said to me. And my response was silence.
What did I even expect, actually? That the party would start on time? The party conveners set the time at 9 a.m. because they knew people would use their African time and arrive at their convenient times—two hours after the party starts, when the food sharing may begin.
Many of us just want to eat and go back to our houses. So the general formula is, The set time + time that they would likely begin + plus the time the food may be distributed. This is the best way I can explain African time. And, like I said, decentralised African Time, because everyone has different calculations for themselves. I have mine; you have yours.
Now, this African timing doesn't apply to everything we do, actually. It's basically for occasions that are casual in nature. Carrying your African timing to one's place of work would surely get one fired at some point. My hand no dey there oh. But one can keep this in mind in cases like parties.
...shot on Redmi Note 10 Pro