Changes doesn't happen suddenly, it is always initiated by a factor, it doesn't matter how long the process of the change is going to take. A subtle act of pleasing people thinking I'm only trying to be myself: nah that was self sabotage. Presently, those constant desire to please humans died because it drained me and I couldn't get anything out of it. The whole "I'm doing it because it's this or that person" doesn't really count anymore.
I've got to learn over the last few years that you can only try to portray yourself in a certain way but you can't make or force people to believe you: it is always a personal decision. I used to be that guy that wanted people to see me for who I really was, not exactly pleasing but do not mind danvung to others tune of music so they can see my like I want them to. It was never worth it, at all. It was a waste of energy and time, I am so glad I got to understand that you can't be for everyone and everyone won't be for you: this leads to the next change.
Not everyone will like you: accepting and agreeing to this early will save you from a lot of mental stress and hurts. You'd think people are on your side and really like you until you hear them say or act otherwise. It doesn't matter how many good characters you have, people have preferences and know who they truly like. Don't be deceived, some will come for what you have and what they can get from you but it takes keen observation to know those who like you and who do not. Knowing this made me stick to and honour those who like me and have proven it countless times. Now, it energy matching energy, vibes matching vibes.
Asking the question why:
We humans are emotional beings, usually controlled and do thing based on emotions than logical reasoning. That's how we are wired but over the years, especially as youth and adult, you find out that emotions doesn't really get us to tick our goals, do things at the right time and achieve great things: because emotions is soft. Now, I ask myself the question why before or after doing somethings, I tend to forget at times and just jump at things but I still ask myself the question why even after I have done it. I believe knowing why I did a thing would let me know if I was really supposed to do it and if it was really what I ought to do. Let's say, getting someone a gift even at your lowest is good, sounds good, but why did you do it even when you knew you didnt have enough for yourself? Was it because of how much you value and honour the person, or because you you'd feel bad for not gifting the person, or what the person might feel / think or what others that gifted the person might say when it's heard that you didn't give any gift...... This I believe help me to vet my own reason for doing things, help me premeditate and purposely take right actions.
Change happen in series of processes over time and it is dynamic.