A beautiful and comfortable life with one's partner is certain and achievable but it comes with a lot of sacrifices. Over the years, I've seen my parent disagree to agree; I've seen them have a misunderstanding, which they settle most times without our children knowing about it. You might see them argue this minute, and the next minute, they are already gisting and having fun. As children, we would be wondering how they could be so perfect and tolerate each other so much. Likewise, I've seen people whose relationships went down the drain because of one issue or the other, and due to that, they couldn't keep up with one another, and they had to let go, which caused a separation between parents and children.
Image is mine
Values worth replicating
- Patience and tolerance, through my parents, I was made to understand that two individuals who have the same level of anger cannot cohabit. It will be a bit difficult for them to live together peacefully. My parents taught me the importance of patience and I see it in their relationship. There are some things I will protest, and my mom will laugh and say, "Learn to be patient." Tolerating each other's excesses is a big deal I must say. Coming from different backgrounds and learning to accept one's partner just the way he or she is is a difficult task. My parent makes living together so easy and it seems marriage is a fun game for them. I know there are some challenges at times that are not known to the children, but their ways of amending every mistake without causing discomfort in the home are one big lesson I learned from them, which I would love to emulate in my relationship.
- Good communication is one other strong force that upholds relationships. My parents are gist partners, you will see the two of them discussing and enjoying each other's company. They always have one or two things to discuss; they share ideas and emotions and walk side by side with each other in every decision any of them makes. That's the main reason why I don't tell them things separately, I would rather call the two of them and share whatever it is I want to discuss with them because if you speak to one without the knowledge of the other, just know whatever you discussed is not safe because they will surely talk about it and decide together. I remember when growing up, I would discuss with my mom, telling her not to tell my dad; that's one of the mistakes I made then because no matter how I pleaded with my mom, she would surely tell my dad. They are best friends; if they were being talked with separately without each other's knowledge, they would give the same response, that's how close they are to each other. I see this as a good characteristic I would replicate in my relationship.
- Respect, this is a very important factor that makes relationships thrive. I have never seen my parents insult themselves either jokingly or during misunderstandings. They have never used foul language at each other either angrily or playfully. They hold each other in high esteem and this is what I've always tried to uphold in any of my relationships. I give respect to everyone I meet in the journey of my life be it a partner in a love relationship or a friend. Respect is reciprocal, give respect to your partner either in his or her presence or not. Before becoming your partner, he or she is a human first, and that's one thing everyone should understand; this is surely worth replicating.
- Trust, this works hand in hand with respect, being able to stand for your partner either in his or her presence is a blessing. Many people are in relationships today,, and yet they don't trust each other. Sometimes I wonder what the basis of their relationship was before getting married. Getting married to someone you can't vouch for looks more or less like a waste of time because, due to lack of trust, you will see faults in everything. Trust is essential and is the root of every strong relationship.
Growing up and seeing all these qualities in my parent's relationship inculcated a positive mindset in me concerning relationships and marriage. These qualities have positively influenced my relationship, which I will replicate in my relationship.
Thanks for your time and your comments will be appreciated.