In a generation where nearly everything is seen as normal and where little shocks us anymore; some propelled by the parents while others are influenced by peer groups, what will I do when my child takes the deteriorating path?
It is even more painful when your child takes the deteriorating path you took, failing to learn from your mistakes despite clearly seeing in you that you would opt in for the hands of the clock to get back in time to correct your mistakes if it was possible..... A child who gets unwanted pregnancy! What's the fate henceforth and how do I react as a parent?
The truth is that regardless of how the parents reacts, it is really not the problem here: the deed has been done, the milk has been spilled but the real challenge remains, what exactly do you as the victim want to do next?
Dwelling in shame and guilt helps no one rather efforts on how to navigate the future should be made. Allowing it weigh you down will further make you never actualise your potential,and before you can tell, you are already living with shattered hopes of all you could have been, if not for that one mistake.
As A Parent, What Will Be My Reaction?
Well, it is all an illusionary work of art as I am not a parent yet (and whenever I become one, I hope never to be placed in such a tough spot where I will make this decision).
However for the purpose of the prompt, here is how I imagine my response will be...
First, it won't be easy at all but I will have to remind myself to calm down as nothing fruitful ever gets achieved with rage.
Nothing beats dialogue in life. I will have to sit my daughter down, listen to her story, and then ask her what she wants to do going forward because the truth remains that you can't corece an adult into doing what you feel is right; she has to do what she feels it's right. You can only offer your guidance and advice as someone who is not just her parent but also who has got more experience in life but in the end, it is her call to make.
You are still her parent, and she is still your daughter despite the unwanted pregnancy and every child needs the support of their parents. Reassuring her that you will always be there for her and nothing has changed does not mean you are happy with the unwanted pregnancy as no one would be. But it does not help to keep bringing up her mistake; she is already living with much guilt than you can imagine.
What exactly does she want to do with the pregnancy? You will have to find out.
This is so you get the opportunity to know what she thinks and for you to tell her the risks associated with it...
Rather than risking the life of your daughter to unsafe abortions she will opt to do behind your back, why not talk it out with her and even if she opts in for an abortion, you will be carried along all through the process?
It's unwanted pregnancy that she got, she didn't end her life! So it's time to also tell her that she should also think about measures she will adopt to incorporate her studies and get to the highest level she always dreamed of. Pregnancy doesn't stop anyone from continuing their life and hers won't be different.
Finally, I will find a way to chirp in to her to always make better decisions henceforth, it is really not the end of the world but you can't deny the fact that she will pass through added challenges, stress and difficulty.
Unwanted pregnancy is not death sentence but sometimes the way parents react to it and treat the child who made the mistake becomes a death sentence.
We can do better!
Thanks for reading and have a nice day