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"Babe, I need your help. My babe and I have been in a relationship for about three years now, and in all honesty, this is the best girl I've ever had in my life. But, because of your constant reminder of genotype incompatibility, we decided to go for the test, and we realized that both of us are AS. Before now, we've never thought of it, but right now, I'm confused. Are there things we could do to prevent birthing children with sickle cell anemia? I don't think I want to let go, in fact, I really cannot".
This is not a cooked up story. There was a time when I used to write on my WhatsApp status frequently, and people looked forward to my posts. Then, with just one experience that I had with one of my friends who has sickle cell, I switched to preaching about it at every opportunity I get, and that's when this guy, an ardent status updates viewer of mine sent the message.
The toughest heartbreak ever is the one that happened because of no one's actual fault. Both parties are perfect for each other, and everything is in sync, but there's still one strong barrier; Genotype incompatibility.
I know of many medical incompatibilities, but the most intense one so far is the genotype incompatibility. The one where except you both have bastard money to avoid birthing kids with sickle cell anaemia, or you both will decide to opt for adoption over birthing your biological children. However, in real life, many people depend on the sparks and butterflies tickling in their tummies and forget about this crucial incompatibility.
I almost lost it at the hospital one midnight when one of my friends went down with crisis. I could literally hear my friend's bones cracking, yet all the nurses could do was scream at him to be a man and toughen up, meanwhile, my friend was there in pains, screaming in tears. It was my first time seeing him like that. I looked into the eyes of the head nurse and I wanted to scream, but I knew it would only delay the treatment further, so, I controlled my anger, and instead lifted my friend up and kept him in a warm hug with my tiny body.
Almost an hour later, the nurses met with the doctor and on realising that he had sickle cell, they swung into action, but it was too late. All the medications they administered were below the pains he was going through, so all of us including the doctor and nurses were awake through the night. By 5:00am the next day, my friend's parents were around to take him home for better treatment. Glory to God, he came back to us in school, hale and hearty.
One of my friend's very intelligent nephews died from the pains of sicklecell. Guess what? The parents are medical doctors, and are very rich, so they weren't ignorant of the things they could do. Now, after her death, they parted ways and got married to different partners.
I volunteer with a sicklecell NGO and currently, we are on a prayers and hope spree for a 31 year old sicklecell warrior that's been in pains for about a week now.
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Letting go of someone who you've fallen so deep in love with requires a lot of strength mentally, emotionally, and physically, however considering the grave consequences of not letting go will hasten the decision faster.
Imagine having a child that's spending most of her childhood at the hospital, instead of enjoying her childhood like every other kids. Would you like that? If not, then that's a good reason for you to leave that relationship. Except you and your partner are ready for prenatal testing to test the genotype of the fetus everytime you conceive or you both are willing to go through IVF with preimplantation genetic diagnosis or consider adoption.
You can also consider going through hysterectomy and vasectomy to prevent "born by mistake". All these will require not a small amount of money.
However, instead of going through this rough patch later, how about you prevent it first by asking and confirming that person's genotype before moving ahead with the relationship? My genotype is AS and once I realize I'm developing a likeness for someone, the first question I ask is the genotype because I know the challenges involved.