When I get angry, I stay silent. It is not in my nature to be aggressive. I do not shout, throw things, or fight. Instead, I keep quiet and think about everything. Sometimes, my silence is misunderstood. People think I do not care or that I am weak, but that is not true. I just believe that words spoken in anger can never be taken back.
I remember a time when I was very upset with my spouse, he said something that pissed me and I responded immediately. It was later on I realized what I had said and regretted it because I didn't mean it. I said it at that point because I was angry š . I later apologized to him and he did 5ye same and ever since then I keep quiet when I'm angry to avoid saying something I'll regret later.
I also remember a time at my former place of work, one of my colleagues accused me of something I didn't do, I tried explaining to the boss that it wasn't me and that this is actually what happened but she didn't listen so I just kept quiet. I knew that raising my voice would not solve anything. So, I stayed silent. I listened to everything he said, even though it hurt me. Later, when I was calm, I explained my side of the story. He later realized his mistake and apologized. If I had reacted with anger, the situation might have become worse.
My silence is not weaknessāit is my way of protecting myself and others. I know that anger can make people say and do things they do not mean. I have seen people destroy relationships because of words spoken in anger. I do not want to be that kind of person. I do not want to hurt the people I care about just because I am angry.
However, my silence is not always good. Sometimes, it makes me suffer alone. There have been times when I kept my anger inside for too long, and it started to affect me. I would lose my appetite, feel sad, and overthink everything. There was a day my husband noticed I was not myself. He asked me what was wrong, but I said, āNothing.ā He looked at me and said, āI know something is wrong. Talk to me.ā I wanted to stay silent, but I decided to talk. After I spoke, I felt lighter, and my mood changed. That day, I learned that silence is good, but sometimes, talking is better.
I will always be a silent person when angry. It is how I am. But I also know that silence should not last forever. When the anger fades, it is important to talk and clear things up. That way, I do not carry pain in my heart, and I can move on in peace.
This is in response to the #februaryinleo prompt day 11.
Images are mine