I'm not the best when it comes to making decisions. In fact, I've had ugly experiences with decision-making. For a long time, I preferred it when someone else, preferably a close friend, made my decisions for me. So, I often shared my concerns with them and relied on their decision-making skills because I knew mine had always been filled with holes. However, with time, I realized that, even the people I depended on to make decisions for me also made mistakes. What’s the point of depending on somelse else to make your decisions because you are scared of making mistakes, only for them to also make the wrong choices? I realized that since we know ourselves best, we should be in charge of making our own decisions. The keys are in our hands, and only we can find the right one that unlucks the door. So, I studied the art of decision making and that has helped me a lot.
One thing I have come to realize about decisions is that they can be significantly affected by emotions. Don’t make decisions when you're too happy or when you're angry. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you get super excited to the extent that you make empty promises only for you to regret them later? About 4 years ago, I enrolled in a program called JUPEB. Before the exams, I’d been hearing rumors about how Jupeb exams were difficult to pass and how the exam markers were strict with markings. I sat for the exams and did my best, and when the results came out, I passed beautifully. I was so happy that I made a promise to my cousin who was present at that time, something I wouldn't normally make. It was after the adrenaline wore off that I regretted my decision. Similarly, don’t make decisions when you are angry.
The Sci-fi universe community asks us if we have angrily made a decision that turned out to be bad or good. Interestingly, before I learnt the art of decision making, I got entangled in so many experiences that taught me valuable lessons. I remember that evening like it happened yesterday. The evening breeze danced slowly, caressing the skin with a soft, soothing touch. What made that evening special wasn’t the slow and tender breeze nor was it the round, beautiful moon, but the person I was with at that time. Hand in hand, we walked slowly, our footsteps rhyming. Suddenly, we stopped under a tree like we had both planned it. We started talking about different things that I lost track of time.
Out of the blue, I said with a clear voice, “I promise not to ever leave you.” All of this was purely friendship and no strings attached. I cared about her so much and was engulfed in that happy moment that I made that decision. Today, two years later, that person I once made that promise to is no longer in my life. On a normal day, I wouldn't have made that decision, knowing it was something complex, but I let my emotions get the better of me.
If you are an emotionally immature person who struggles to make decisions, here’s my advice for you: as I mentioned above, don’t make decisions when you are sad or angry. Also, be intentional about the decisions you make. Before I decide on something, I must have spent hours reflecting on it. Sometimes, it becomes really scary, because once I make a decision, it is difficult for me to go back on my words.
Images in this post are mine.
Thanks for reading.