Sometimes, I feel that there's a need for some people to rethink marriage, especially for those who are yet to make such a lifetime commitment. Marriage is obviously different from dating and shouldn't be a decision to make in a hurry. Choosing a lifelong partner should be something that we thoroughly think through, considering some set standards good enough to sustain marriages and not necessarily aiming for perfection.
It's common to overhear lots of young people say, I want a very tall, elegant, fair lady or guy for marriage. I want the one with a flashy car or house and all manner of assets we can think of. Some people only focus on the periphery without considering what matters most.
To start with, marriage is a legal union instituted by God, enjoyable most times, but not too rosy all the time. To realize that it's a long-time commitment is enough for one to consider certain standards before saying I do to that man or woman. I think we should look beyond the periphery; perhaps it will reduce the rate of separation and divorce that exists today in our society.
So talking about standards for marriage, do you want physical beauty? , a romantic husband or a money-tic husband, or do you want both? Do you need a financial orgasm or a coitus orgasm? Do you want a husband, a father, a brother, and a best friend?. Personally , a combo of all these attributes matters to me, and I will tell you why and how.
I can't marry a man I am not attracted to simply because he is money-tic, no! He might NOT be very handsome, but physically, there must be something that attracts me to him. It's my number one standard before digging deeper. Secondly, marriage is sweeter with romance. If my man is not romantic, I am sorry, but that might push me to start looking for my ex, which is not healthy for marriage, so let there be touches of romance. My dictionary told me that it makes one live longer, hehehe.
Going further, money-tic husband means a wealthy husband. Remember that I said I will tell you why and how I want the whole combo. Personally, I will prefer to marry a man with potential, a man that has ambition, and then grow our wealth together and not an already wealthy man. It's a personal choice, so do not attack me, lolz. Money is good; love alone without money wouldn't make that marriage sweet, talking from experience. So it's important that I understand the financial capability of the man I am marrying—indeed, an important standard prior to saying, I do.
Coitus orgasm? For us to achieve the kind of bond needed for couples, then intimacy is crucial, and it's a yes for me. Overall, a balance between financial and coitus orgasm.
Who says that marrying a husband who is also a father, a brother, and my best friend isn't one of my awaited dreams before my marriage? A man who will remain a friend to me till our old ages. In Africa, if you enter into the hands of some of these men with African mentality, your name is sorry. They are too authoritative, always commanding and acting boss at home, forgetting that marriage is about mutual respect and relationship, and that way , it becomes sweeter. What I am saying in essence is that if I notice that my future husband isn't a friendly type but the one with African man mentality, I am not doing it. Obviously, he wouldn't be good with communication, and his mental maturity will also be questioned.
Overall, marriage cannot survive with one attribute alone. There's a need to put some factors, like I mentioned above, into consideration, including love and having the fear of God , which is the ultimate. Finally , it takes effort, commitment, and patience from both partners to work out their marriage, sharing in both their joyful and sorrowful moments together.
This post is in response to the
SciFi Multiverse community weekly prompt
Images were taken from canva