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Anger management is a big deal, just like other ways we go about controlling certain habits in us, such as eating habits, exercising habits, and many others. These things require great effort, and anyone who has mastered them in a good way should be applauded. I think I deserve that applause too because, to a good extent, I have good control over my anger. I can shun it quickly whenever I notice it's about to go sour or escalate.
First of all, I am among those whose anger is not easily triggered. I hold my anger for a long time, laughing it off whenever it starts brewing because I do not want it to come out. And when it finally does, I use my techniques to wave it off. In a situation where I cannot wave it off, I try as much as possible to subdue it and reduce my reaction to a very minimal level. The following are ways I have been practically managing my anger.
Leave the Scene
Under normal circumstances, this can be very difficult to do, especially when someone is highly provoked and is right on the stand—I mean when the person did not do anything wrong. No matter what, whenever I am provoked and anger starts oozing out, I try as much as possible to leave the scene because if I stay, controlling my words or my physical reaction will be very hard.
Let me tell you, leaving the scene of anger is not actually a weakness. There is a way you can do it that will send a winning signal to the person who provoked you. Yes, if someone walks out on me while I am voicing out, I would feel defeated at that moment. Most times, people who go physical when they are angry do so because they see their opponents right in front of them. You cannot react physically if there is just air you are talking to.
Plug into Music
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This works like magic for me. Each time I am angry, my go-to activity is to listen to music—any type of music at all, as long as it gives melody to my mind. This may seem weird to some people, but it works for me in the same way alcohol works for those who use it to suppress anger or depression.
Whenever music comes into play, it softens my heart, allowing the feelings of anger to leave gradually. It is not like the anger disappears completely—no, it does not. It just reduces, and by so doing, I do not dwell too much on it. This also minimizes any thoughts I might have had about reacting negatively toward the person who provoked me.
I use this method mostly when it is difficult for me to walk out of a situation, especially when it involves family matters. You know, in an African home, it is against conduct for a child to walk out while being reprimanded by their parents. Music helps me stay put, let them do all the talking, and prevents me from reacting with harsh words.
This makes me so special to my parents because my other siblings always react whenever they are provoked by our parents.
Thanks!