The wind is blowing again out in Pringle Bay.
And when I say the wind is blowing, I now know why the old time residents out here complain about the wind.
I open the windows anyway.
In the same way I walk straight into, and through, uncomfortable thoughts and feelings these days.
It is this and this only, you see...
that has set me free.
Despite whatever may be happening to me or around me in the world.
Capitalisation as been intentionally removed for this story.
I hesitate, thinking it’s gonna only be unpleasant.
It's really fuckin' windy today, to be clear.
But I open the windows anyway because the place needs airing out. My granny was chinese, you see, and I believe in feng shui by osmosis.
The same way we humans tend to believe things are real or true, most frequently.
So, I open the windows, even if it’s gonna be unpleasant, because the place needs airing out. You have to keep the energy flowing. Not too much or you can let all the good stuff stream out as well. But enough to keep things flowing.
Just right.
Is this right?
Am I wrong?
Are you right?
Are we right?
Because we think we're right?
Am I right?
Are they right?
What is right?
If I were discussing politics, “right” may not be a good thing.
I suppose it depends whose side you’re on.
Words can be confusing.
But only if we are afraid of them.
I practice feng shui even though I'm not sure it's right.
I think jesus was brilliant but I don’t believe in god. I met a man who was muslim and we had some things in common. Apparently 3am is the best time to pray. But I don’t pray. I meditate. We do the same thing anyway but we call it something different, as it turns out.
I still say the twelve step prayer, sometimes, when I'm feeling rattled. But I'm not a christian. The words soothe me. Although I don't believe in formalised spiritual practices anymore. I think a connection with whatever may be up there is a personal thing.
I don't believe in astrology but I know my star and rising sign. And my moon. And my menstrual cycle seems to align with it somehow. I also know the characteristics of each sun sign. But I don't know if astrology is right.
I end my meditation with the words, "sat nam". "truth be thy name", or whatever, because I like this. But I don't know if this is right.
My daughter is a jew, my son may be a christian, a dear friend of mine is muslim, my mother is an atheist and, some days, I still don't know what I am. But we love each other and get along just fine.
I think everybody finds their own way home.
And there are many ways to get there.
I believe the final destination is the same.
But I also know that I will never know for sure.
I practice yoga before I meditate sometimes.
And I once spoke with a follower of krishna at length. Turns out we have a lot in common. I read the bible when I was a kid because I loved the stories. And I read the bhagavad gita as an adult when I was looking for more answers. Over and over for a year. I think both are right. In some ways. And in others I don't know if they are right for sure.
I also don't believe there is a god anymore.
I may be an atheist or a buddhist then.
But I'm not going to align myself with anyone in particular.
Because I don't need to join groups to feel safer anymore.
And I don't know anything for sure anyway.
I still practice the principles of all these practices, though.
Because they seem to work this way.
For me anyway.
And for those around me, as well, when i practice them.
Someone once called me a heretic.
They were right because I don’t believe in government bodies or institutions. I don't think the churches, that we have different words for, are where god resides anyway. But I do believe something, that some might call god, resides within us all. Even though I don’t believe in god. So I guess they were right too. In some way. I think allah may be another name for jesus. And krishna. And jehova.
But I haven't found the time to read more of some books.
Am I wrong?
And are you right?
Are you sure about that?
Are you sure enough about that for some people to die?
For the last week or so, I’ve been muttering about little boys playing war, growing into men who play war.
I bet they think they're right.
Is it right for innocent women, boys and children to die because some people think they’re right?
I think this is wrong.
But they may tell me I’m wrong.
Or I'm gonna go to hell.
But I don’t believe in hell either.
I don't believe in the devil either.
But I think the devil resides in us as well.
But I'm also scientific and I need things to be proven.
But that it’s all open to interpretation and perception.
As well.
And people will tell me not to discuss things like religion or politics because it's “impolite”.
And I don't want to be rude, or anything.
Somebody may not agree with me or like me.
I’d say that anything we repress and bury begins to rot and corrupt.
I’d say that anything we are too afraid to talk about leaves things open to misinterpretation and manipulation.
I was chatting to a trance dj, from the cape town psy trance scene, this morning.
Even though I strongly disagree with what's currently happening in the cape town psy trance scene, I still stay in touch.
I stay in touch with this dj because he's a good human being.
And I like him.
I still like him, even though we have different perspectives, different lifestyles and I don't wanna be a part of the group he's in anymore.
I also still like the people in the cape town psy trance scene, who I think are behaving like muppets, by the way.
I may be wrong.
I could be right.
The dj, who I was chatting to this morning, sent me an article to see if I'd seen it. And so I ended up reading this, this morning...
even though I don't much agree with what's happening in the psy trance scene right now.
I took the time to read it anyway.
I don’t know who is right or who is wrong about the invisible borders and gods we humans faithfully believe in.
Or the gods and monsters and… concepts we insist are "the right way".
We may have stopped burning heretics, witches and heathens but we still punish people who disagree with us. Ignoring; incarcerating; censoring; murdering... we silence those who oppose our perspective.
Because we are afraid of words. Or because we use words to justify our behaviour and vilify others who use different words.
So we become too afraid to use our words.
And our silence creates even more room for even greater misunderstanding.
Am I bad?
Are you good?
Am I right?
Am I wrong?
Are you right?
Are you good?
Did you make a mistake?
Is that bad?
Are you bad?
Is it wrong to ask any of this?
Is it bad to ask any of this?
Is this wrong?
Does this threaten what you think is right?
Do you wanna fight about it?
I think, until we become less afraid of them, words can be dangerous after all. Not because ideas are dangerous.
But because we humans can be dangerous.
Especially when we think we are right.
Today I weep for Israel.
Today I weep for us all.
“The rich ruling class has used tribalism, a primitive caveman instinct, to their advantage since the beginning of time. They use it to divide and conquer us. They drive wedges between us peasants and make us fight each other, so we won’t rise up against our rulers and fight them.
You can observe the same old trick everywhere in America today: Red states and blue states are fighting. Christians and Muslims are fighting. Men and women are fighting. Baby Boomers and Millennials are fighting. Black people and white people are fighting.
That doesn’t just happen all by itself. There are always voices instigating these fights.”
Oliver Markus Malloy
"If thought corrupt language, language can corrupt thought"
Links to original articles used for the screenshots from The Marginalian:
1. The Search for a New Humility: Václav Havel on Reclaiming Our Human Interconnectedness in a Globalized Yet Divided World
2. Hermann Hesse on Hope, the Difficult Art of Taking Responsibility, and the Wisdom of the Inner Voice
3. The Terror Within and the Evil Without: James Baldwin on Our Capacity for Transformation as Individuals and Nations
4. Trust Yourself: Emerson on Self-Reliance as the Essence of Genius and What It Means to Be a Nonconformist
Hardened Dreamer
Mother
Peaceful Warrior
Determined Dancer
and Stargazer
still...
Beyond fear is freedom
And there is nothing to be afraid of.
To Life, with Love... and always for Truth!
Nicky Dee