This is the day when I was probably in daycare. I was able to go to my room alone because I can do it by myself. I'm not scared of being alone at the age of 5. I can handle myself because my mom is busy every single day. She only has time during meetings at school. Fast forward to the graduation of daycare, I'm ok in the top 8, but I memorized the pledge of loyalty. I'm not interested in being in front of many people because I'm too shy. I was nervous at that time for the first reciting of the pledge of loyalty.
The time when I was in grade 6, this is the time when I wasn't still okay for 2 years of recovery, which wasn't enough. I'm not myself, I can't focus on my studies anymore until the end of grade 6. During grade 6 graduation, I realized that I made a very wrong decision. When they started mentioning the top of the class, I felt very envious because my name didn't belong to those at the top. I felt guilt and said to myself in my mind, 'I was very wrong. How could I do that?' That problem won't be with you until the last day of your life in this world.I wish my problem wasn't going to be with me every day. I wish this would fade away from me soon.
(This Photo was uploaded in my Bestfriend's Facebook on Nov.15,2019 )
High school 2019-2020, together with my first group of friends who were real friends for the first time in my life. I had never experienced a friendship like this before. During class, I never changed when it came to participating because I felt that I didn't have enough confidence. All of them showed their love and care for me, and I appreciate what they have done for me. Because of them, I feel that I don't need to be afraid of showing who I am. Before exams, we went to the church and prayed for our exams. We passed all of the subjects and did the best. Finally, we celebrated achieving our certificates for passing with an average of 90 and above.
Moving forward, I woke up to all the failures that I have made in my life for choosing very wrong decisions. And this is the time I know it's not too late to have a chance to make right decisions and create a new style of my life. Every day, I am very thankful to myself for surviving such huge problems. And I am also thankful to God for listening to all my prayers and for making my wishes come true.
(This Photo was uploaded on my Instagram)
During recognition, I'm very happy, and I cry because I'm proud of myself to reach this level. My papa assist me, but he's secretly proud. All the effort and hard work of my papa is for us. It will be enough for him to graduate his children and for us to have our own jobs to provide for our financial needs and to help/assist him. This is my father. He is a loving man, and he cares about everything for us. He's busy, but he really does give us time to bond at least once.To find the opportunity that fits for me, I choose to do it together with my supporters - my family. I know this journey will have more challenges, and I'll face and fight them. As a student who really cares about everything, I'm someone who is easily worried about not passing grades. This is for you - all of us are not perfect, but we should do our best and be ourselves. Choose your path, but remember, there must be limits. Every single day, the most important thing is to think positively and not feel guilty if you think you're falling below your standards. You need to work on improving yourself, and wait for the progress.All sacrifices must have consequences.
And now I'm in the final level of senior high school. My dream is to graduate from college.If you are already at that level, you should think about your future. I have already decided what course I will choose and I have to study hard. I had a lot of experiences that inspire me. Every plan I make starts with a difficult process. I have decided to overcome all the struggles I have been through. I am able to focus on my studies. While I am studying, I joined this website incase I have an emergency or need support for school. I need to manage my time because I spend half of my time on my studies and blogging. I try my best to write at least 2 blogs per week.
And I think this is the end of my story. Thank you for giving your time to read my blogs. I hope you enjoy reading this one.