I am writing this post with pride, celebrating 9 years of sobriety and sharing it with you and myself. Maybe this can inspire someone to take that first step, reach out to someone who needs it, or simply remind you that even the longest journey starts with a single step.
Stage I - Plöhn
14.03.2016: Today, nine years ago, I stepped into a pre-rehab center in Plöhn, Germany. That step was the first of many toward a sober and healthier life. I stayed there for 21 days - getting clean, getting used to the rehab environment, and waiting for a spot in long-term therapy. My goal wasn’t just to fight my inner demons but to learn how to work with them.Right in those first days, I found a strong reason to continue on this path. The first three days, I had to stay in the clinical part of the facility under constant monitoring. Every few hours, someone came in, checked on us, took notes, and moved on to the next room.
On my very first night, I shared a room with Malte - only one year older than me but already a heavy alcoholic. He told me he had been drinking three bottles of vodka daily for years and was struggling with not having alcohol in his system. He was shaking, his speech was off, but what happened that night was beyond anything I had imagined.
I woke up to him talking loudly - having a full-on conversation with the wall, as if he were on the phone. Malte told an imaginary nurse that thousands of purple spiders were crawling all over his bed and body. I quickly pressed the emergency button next to my bed, and within seconds, a nurse entered the room. She immediately understood what was happening, gave Malte an injection, and soon after, he fell asleep. For her, it was routine. For me, it was a nightmare. That moment will stay with me forever.
This was just one of many experiences that burned into my memory during this part of my rehab. From good to bad, I learned a lot from talking to other patients. They had their own struggles - many even worse than mine - whether with addiction or the life circumstances that led them to drugs in the first place.
Over time, I realized how privileged I actually was:
- A happy relationship
- An okay-paying job that fulfilled me
- A stable family life
- A safe place to sleep
- And so much more...
Stage II - Bremen
04.04.2016: After spending at least 14 days in my first rehab and waiting a few more days for my spot, I moved on to the next and much longer phase of my recovery:Six months of long-term therapy in Bremen, Germany. This time played a huge role in helping me bring structure into my life, set goals, and truly get to know myself. I had individual and group therapy, music therapy, sports, arts, and more. It was a mostly calm and freeing time, a complete contrast to the fast-paced, drug-fueled life I had been living.
Going from constant chaos to moments of boredom felt like a gift. I finally had space to think, reflect, and rebuild. That summer became one of the most memorable of my whole life. I explored the city, got to know many people and backstories, and even found a very close friend I’m still in touch with today. But while I was making big progress, I still struggled with understanding who I am. Even now, I don’t have all the answers, but I know myself so much better, and most importantly, I’ve learned to handle emotions I used to numb with substances.
Every two weekends, we had to go home and prove we could stay sober. This included drug tests, pocket checks, and a written report on our time away. These weekends were a challenge but also a huge opportunity. I used them not only to see my girlfriend but to test myself. Together, we worked on something that scared me: partying sober. I had no idea if I could enjoy a night out without drugs or alcohol, but we went for it.
The first two or three times were tough. Returning to the same techno clubs where I used to go completely wasted felt strange. But over time, I started to enjoy the vibe, the music, and simply being there. I even felt like a superhero when I shared my progress with others and in therapy.
During this time, I also learned my limits. Before sobriety, I would dance for hours, sometimes staying in clubs from Friday night until Sunday afternoon, losing all sense of time, reality, and money. Now, after three hours of dancing, I felt exhausted - but in control. And let me tell you: leaving a party when you decide to is one of the best feelings in the world.
Finally, I could enjoy a night out, walk out of the club at 4 AM, and hear the birds sing - instead of stumbling out at 4 PM, completely wrecked. And of course this was not the only achievement I made on my journey up until today.
Stage III - On my own - 06.10.2016
But of course, I wasn’t truly alone. My girlfriend has been, and still is, a huge support. She helps me solve all kinds of challenges, asks the right questions that make me reflect, and is simply an amazing part of my life. I know that my sober journey is ultimately about me, but I’m also doing this for the people who care about me - so they don’t have to worry anymore.
I am proud to be here today - 9 years sober - writing my sobriety anniversary post and sharing it with the world.
One last important thing I want to add:
If you feel like you might be struggling with addiction or need help, please take the time to inform yourself about possible ways to break free. There are self-help groups, therapy services, and professional support available - probably closer than you think and often free of charge.
The first step is recognizing the problem and reaching out for help. We’re all in this together, and one day, you could be the next person writing a post like this - celebrating 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, or even years of sobriety.
If you notice someone around you who might need professional help, try to talk to them. Most people don’t start this journey purely out of self-motivation. Overcoming addiction - or any destructive habit - is a huge step, and many will keep postponing it until it’s too late.