These days, the list of "politically correct" things you can say and do seems to grow longer every day. And if you somehow — inadvertently, or not — overstep some recently created boundary, you immediately become a social pariah of sorts.
There's a virtual army of militant and angry people out there, ready to point the "Phobia Phinger" at anyone who regards (or overlooks) their particular splinter group with anything but the highest level of admiration and reverence.
I am writing out these thoughts following a recent dialogue with a 40-something friend who recently became single again and finds himself tentatively entering the treacherous waters of the Dating Scene after 15 years of singlehood. No, Brett isn't some kind of socially inept loser nerd; he was very happily married for 9 years before his beloved died in a freak car accident.
But that's beside the point here.
We were having a bit of a chat and he mentioned as how it felt like he wasn't "allowed" to have preferences in whom he'd like to date.
"If I prefer TALL women, I get accused of being biased against SHORT women; if I point out that I am straight, I'm accused of being homophobic; if I admit to not having a (romantic) interest in Trans people I'm called transphobic; if I admit to having a "type," I'm accused of being biased against NOT that type... what does it all MEAN?
He sounded pretty frustrated. The latest "thing" he'd navigated was evidently fallout from from having said somewhere that he wants to be with someone really fit, and it evidently provoked a "lecture" about being biased against people with a more sedentary lifestyle.
I should point out that Brett is a specialized firefighter who spends part of his year sitting up an observation tower as a "smokespotter" out in the middle of nowhere. Hiking 10 miles a day with heavy gear across rugged terrain — even at age 47 — is nothing to him.
"I'd just like someone who can at least SOMEwhat keep up with me... is that so wrong?"
After our conversation ended, I really got to wondering when we got so ridiculously touchy about not being "100% included, 100% of the time?"
Maybe I am missing something here, but as a pretty old coot with a lot of mileage under his belt... the thing about romantic relationships that work is precisely that they tend to be based around various kinds of common ground. If we're not "allowed" to have preferences for that common ground, how the hell are we supposed to build strong relationships?
And what the hell is gained by placing a need for everyone to "feel welcome" ahead of the functional viability of relationships?
Regardless, it all makes me feel very grateful that I am not part of the dating scene anymore, because it seems like treacherous waters!
Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!
How about YOU? Do you think culture has gone overboard on the whole "inclusiveness" issue to the point where we are actually just tripping ourselves up? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!*
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Created at 20211106 00:07 PDT
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