"How do you feel about Hillary"? "What do you think of Elizabeth"? "Any thoughts about Nicole"? If you're wondering what I'm talking about, these were a few questions my dad asked of me when I was just coming into puberty.
They were the kind of questions that make a young boy squirm. The kind that make you hide a flushed red face. My father, as dads tend to be, was persistent. I knew he wasn't giving up without some sort of an answer.
My responses started with, "C'mon dad, I don't know about any of that stuff". It was an obvious lie. With some prodding, he got me to admit that I had different feelings about some girls than I did for others.
They Weren't All Showing Signs Of Womanhood
As a young man sees things, time doesn't move very fast. Circumstances in life seem much more permanent than they do after we've lived awhile.
I was starting to experience the stirrings of sexuality and there were girls I was attracted to more than others. My dad, in his wisdom, noticed this and he saved me a lot of grief.
Back then, I only understood as much as a young boy could from the perspective of youth. One thing I remember taking away from his advice? There was more to liking a girl than meets the eye. Now it's a lesson I pass on to both my sons.
Treat Everyone With Respect
Hillary was a Bean Pole at that point in our childhood. She was a sweetheart, but as skinny as a rail, and didn't attract much attention from the boys. At least not the kind of attention a young girl desires.
Pops picked up on this as we had our discussion about girls. "That girl", he said, "might not seem pretty to you now. But just like you will, girls grow up and change".
And boy did Hillary change. After junior highschool ended, I didn't see Hillary for a couple years. She went to a different Highschool but her parents still lived in the same town.
I ended up visiting her with a friend who had given me a heads up. Hillary wasn't anything like how we remembered. This didn't surprise me one bit. When she came out to greet us as we got out of the car, my dad's lesson was complete. She was drop dead gorgeous!
John, The Biggest Nerd In School
Co-Valedictorian I believe was his official title at graduation. John was none too happy about that. He felt he had earned it outright. John lived a few blocks down the street from me. We were in the same Boy Scout troop and used to ride share to different events in our parents vehicles.
He absolutely loved baseball and collected baseball cards with a passion. John wasn't gifted with the skills I had with the hardball, and was never a player.
I can't tell you where John is now or what he's doing but I do know this. That guy was one of the smartest kids I ever met. I don't need to catch up on his doings to know that he's a success. Not only did he have the brains but a driving positive energy.
The King & Queen Of The Prom
What are these two doing these days? They are not together anymore, but are doing fine from what I know. I wish I could say the same for all the popular kids I went to school with.
Over the years, I've run into some of them. Let me tell you, I haven't made the best decisions in life and I envy them none. For many, nothing has changed at all. They still need the constant attention. It's still all about adoration from everyone.
In regards to this topic I'm writing about, a quote from Billy Joel fits the narrative perfectly.
They lived for a while in a
Very nice style
But it's always the same in the end
They got a divorce as a matter
Of course
And they parted the closest
Of friends
Then the king and the queen went
Back to the green
But you can never go back
There again
~ Scenes From An Italian Restaurant
Everyone and everything is in a constant state of change.
There are three of every person. Our past, present, and future selves.
Resolve and forgive the past so the present can take better care of the future self.
This was and still is my father's larger lesson. It's one I'm still learning to improve at, day by day. I don't expect to ever master it but I see no point in setting a low bar.
Thanks for reading and as always...
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