I am a fool, but a fool with a plan
Even now I'm lost for the right words to say. The right words seldom flow smoothly onto the page for me. More often than not, to write something I am truly proud of, I would sit and write multiple drafts and, at times, use writing software that points out grammatical and spelling errors so that I can post something readable and well written...
I wish I could write well, and not just in style and grammar but in understanding and with the interest needed to keep and hold the reader's attention. But I can't, at least not without more time then I care to devote to writing. Maybe with luck and some dark magic I could write an interesting and intriguing post such as @tarazkp writes (I imaging he is able to write with one hand while playing a guitar solo for Van Halen with the other hand all while hitting 21 at on-line Blackjack...)
...Back to me being a fool.
It was always right in front of me. And maybe that's why I missed it so often. I was blind to the opportunity because I was looking elsewhere or didn't think it possible so instead of going all-in I skimmed the surface with mediocre attempts and haste that resulted in... a bad taste in my mouth.
I get that there is plenty of room on Hive for all to display their wares from the top dogs to the ones who must fight for scraps of attention. but personally, I'd rather allow the @galenkp and @acidyo do what they do best, ( amongst all the good writers) I've got other plans...
I'm returning to what I loved years ago. Before the drinking and wasteful nights, before life became to heavy and I allowed the weight to crush me down. before I listened to other people tell me who I was.
I'm returning to creating art.
Back in the day, around eighteen years ago (my God has it been that long????) I fell hard for creating art, namely graphic design. I don't need to go into that story now (I will later on) but as I described above, I allowed myself to waste away every opportunity given to me, all the time I had, the chances are given. The talent was either dried up or lost to countless wasteful days and nights being everyone else puppet.
I only blame myself for this. it's only fair.
...and then the years passed.
Recently I reconnected with my love for art. Of all places in a coffee shop with a pen, scrap of paper and a Match green tea. It was not graphic design that lured me in this time. But with pens and paints and inks and pencils. I'm a novice for sure but one who is willing to pursue something better.
So why not document my journey here on Hive, all elements of my creations, not just the finished piece. I've already posted a few Haikus with simple drawings but those were rushed and of poor quality. I want to push myself beyond my current abilities.
So maybe it's good to be the fool. After all the fool in a deck of tarot cards represents (amongst other meaning) starting over, faith in the future, being inexperienced, not knowing what to expect.
The fool says "make a ruckus" and "take a chance" The fool is newborn, open to change, and is spontaneous. He does think he can fail because no one has told him he can't.
The fool is willing to be a fool in the pursuit of new opportunities.
The fool doesn't allow himself to feel like an imposter, he knows the skills and lessons he must learn are great.
The fool knows who he is not who he COULD be.
The fool seeks out challenges beyond his abilities.
The fool knows not to be crushed by the sheer size of his pursuits and will stumble forward if that is what he must do to keep moving forward.
Moving forward
I briefly thought about creating my own community but decided against it. There are already good art-minded communities like @PowerHouseCreatives @sketchbook and @onchainart I might still start a new art community in the future but for now, I want to focus on on on creating, developing skills, and learning what I can.
I'm not going to limit my post to show off what I've created. I want to document the journey from practicing to new techniques to full-blown mistakes. As long as it's creative-minded and artistic.
hell, I might even start creating @threespeak videos while creating.
All of this begins with part 2 of this post. I hope to have that ready tomorrow but you know how it goes when you tell God your plans...
meditations (the fool)