I happened to have mentioned lots of times on several of my blogposts that I do pole dancing. However, I never really allocated a single blog post about it on Hive, so here goes.
Why Pole Dancing?
As I mentioned in my HIVE Intro, I grew up with a lot of body issues with regards to my weight.
I never realized how heavy my struggles were until I discovered later on in college that I was actually having an eating disorder (I was anorexic and bulemic).
I was misled growing up to believe that the only way I was going to be deserving love or affection is if I was desirable, and the equation people kept feeding me at that time in my formative years, was BIENG THIN = BEING DISIRABLE = HAPPINESS. I clung on to this belief to the point of staying in a toxic relationship with someone in college, because I thought then that it was the best that I could get.
The moment I grew out of that mindset, although admittedly, really difficult, and required a huge amount of self-awareness, consistency and dedication to becoming better, I started to have a more grounded view on everything, not only on my insecurities.
My decision to practice pole dancing was a revolutionary move for me because I was normally someone who no one would bet to have the guts to strut around showing a lot of skin and attempt to be the generic definition of being sexy.
Because of pole dancing, I began having a lot of respect for the body I used to be ashamed of when I was a kid.
The chubby kid who used to used to wear baggy clothes and jackets became a chubby pole dancing enthusiast 😆.
How do you deal with the stigma around pole dancing?
It wasn't easy. It was way harder than doing pole moves themselves. I live in a "conservative" country and I also happen to come from one of the more conservative parts of it. So it doesn't sit well when it comes to what my religious family members back home would say if they see me flipping, spinning and splitting in the air almost near naked on the pole.
My worries were validated when my parents (although well-intentioned) strongly criticized my pole-ing pursuits, criticized my friends who were into pole dancing and it was just a messy, but much needed phase for the change that was about to take place.
I used to be really sensitive about being slut-shamed even before pole dancing came into the picture. It was absolutely a no-no to wear crop-tops, or show even just a centimeter of skin above the waistline, or any form of suggestive short shorts. Thus, to avoid inviting any evil eye from my much older, conservative relatives, my wardrobe growing up were constricted to T-shirts and jeans, coupled with long sleeves and a lot of jackets.
I think it's because of a long reinforced belief of the culture where I come from that a woman should not display herself sexually at any degree, this belief is held a lot more strongly in my hometown than in the more developed parts of the country. Even if it was just for the sake of being fashionable, to do so would be risking being called "dirty", "immoral", and all adjectives nitpicking, chismosang kapitbahay's (gossipy neighbors) would LOVE to make use of.
The minute I revealed to my parents that I wanted to take pole classes, they didn't like it, or rather, they had a difficult time understanding my decision. It did complicate things for a while to be honest. I guess it's not easy for a parent to watch their children grown up and make grown-up decisions with their body.
But what good parent wouldn't support their daughter's happiness? They eventually came to terms with my pole-ing and how it helped with my self-esteem and mental health that they even allowed me to install a home pole at home.
Now, my grandmother and house pets are my biggest fans and don't mind my prancing around the house in just a mere sports bra and sports cycle.
Don't you get worried about being too muscular?
I used to worry about getting too muscular, especially after a couple of months into aerial and pole when my biceps were starting to resemble. Eating less would only leave me weak and easily fatigued at work, and all the more during pole sessions.
I realized later on that getting good at pole mattered more for me than the worries I have or will ever have about having broad shoulders. I will look like a whale but at least I will be a whale who knows how to do an Ayesha four feet off the ground.
Is there a pre-requisite in pole dancing?
No. There are no necessary pre-requisites. If you are already into acrobatics, or maybe already several levels physically active, your skills will help but they are not necessities.
You just have to show up, and do the necessary work. Eventually little by little, you will build enough strength to carry your own body, and flexibility to nail pole moves better.
You don't have to weigh 80 lbs or have the ability to split your legs 270 degrees. I know a lot of people who are way better than I am in pole beyond the weight they show on the weighing scale.
What's your favorite pole trick?
HA. This is a tricky question. I kind of have this tendency to make the most hard-to-nail pole moves as my favorite, so what happens is that my favorites are often replaced by more difficult moves. Although there are some pole shapes that are much easier to do and don't fall short on the aesthetic aspect, but somehow I find nailing the difficult ones more rewarding.
If I was asked what my top 3 picks, they would probably be:
Top 3 - The Ballerina
I first learned about this move in a Pole App I downloaded from a pole enthusiast community called Polearn, and incorporated it in a Christmas video I published online. My back back then was not as flexible as it used to be considering that I had only recently gotten back to regular pole training after a long hiatus due to the pandemic.
With the help of YouTube academy and several pointers from my pole mommas, I was able to nail this move pretty well.
Top 2 - The Brass Bridge
This was one of the first intermediate moves I was taught back in the studio. The challenging part of this orienting my inner leg and butt in such a way that I could still be stable as I extend my outer leg to form a sort of "bridge" -- thus the name, the brass bridge.
Top 1 - The Ayesha
This move is considered as a milestone move for most pole enthusiasts because it involves a sublime combination of correct positioning, shoulder strength, core strength, grip strength and balance. Imagine, the only contact points you will have with the pole in this move are your hands. Your legs are basically suspended in the air.
I worked on this move on and off for about a month until I could get used to that goldilocks zone. There is a certain orientation of your hips that will keep you stable enough to suspend your legs in the air. It was a looong and frustrating journey, as I had to do it with limited guidance from my pole coaches back in Lapu-lapu. But thanks to human innovation and technology, reciprocating photos and videos in messenger were enough.
Despite instructions were through messenger alone, I could hear my pole mommas' voices at the back of my head telling me to keep my shoulders engaged, elbows engaged. Pull with my right arm and push with my left, keep my butt away from the pole .
What's the hardest lesson you are trying to learn in pole dancing?
Knowing when to rest, learning to respect my body and its limits and internalizing one of Pole Dancing's great commandments-- Over-training is a Sin and if I have to be honest, I haven't actually mastered this one yet.
You know this. I know this. Human beings are naturally impatient, and the more competitive the individual, all the more. I am an embodiment of that individual: the straight A student within me shudders at the thought of not being excellent at something I worked tooth and nail for. There is always that voice at the back of my head saying "I need to achieve this" as if it was some annoying unticked box in my mental checklist.
While I credit majority of my milestones on my impatience as an overachiever, if left unchecked (especially in pole), it is eventually going to lead to my downfall, and possible end of my pole dancing hobby.
Staying still is something my system is not used to. It's easier said than done. It takes a lot of patience and self-control to do nothing, and just sit still and let my sore limbs rest. All the while, the pole is just by the living room and every time I look at it, random pole moves would come into mind.
The thing about it is, I wasn't taught the value of sitting still at home, or by my teachers at school or at the university. What was reinforced instead were concepts like the early bird gets the worm, or stop when I'm done, not when I'm tired and yes, burnouts and meltdowns are common scenarios for me.
It was only recently in my pursuit of pole dancing did I learn that a great deal of patience is actually key to getting good at something and keep getting good at it without feeling burnt out. In the perspective of pole, a great deal of patience is actually key to getting good at pole without unnecessarily injuring myself.
Personally, I still have a lot to work on in my pole journey. While I appreciate the milestones of pole tricks and combos that got me this far, it is nothing compared to the life-long values I've learned from this pursuit: Grit, Athleticism, Patience and most of all, Sisterhood.
