I’ve been studying French since primary school all the way through secondary school, but till today, I still can’t make a good sentence in French. It just feels like French and I are not compatible like we’re from two different planets. I hated any day we had French class. Despite my years of experience, I can’t even tell when someone says “stand” or “sit” in French. 🙆
Please don’t blame me o, the subject didn’t like me, and I simply returned the energy 😂.
Back then, I was the smallest in class, but ironically, I made the loudest noise. I was actually good at other subjects, but there was just something about French that didn’t click. I was in JSS3, and we had to read French comprehensions in class. Luckily, we didn’t have to read out loud every time we just followed the teacher’s lead. Those who understood French followed along, and the rest of us, disowned by the language, did our own thing quietly when the teacher wasn’t looking.
Then one day, our French teacher came in as usual. We opened our books, and she started reading the comprehension aloud. I was doing my best to “look serious” when my seatmate whispered to me, “Look at her face while she’s reading, it looks funny.”
I shouldn’t have looked. But I did.
The moment I looked, I burst into loud laughter 😂. I tried to swallow it, I swear, but it escaped. The teacher looked at me dead in the eye and asked, “What’s that?”
Still giggling, I muttered, “I’m sorry, ma.”
Now, this teacher had a unique face. We didn’t know what happened to her, but back then, we made jokes about it behind her back (yes, I know better now). While she was still staring at me, my seatmate whispered, “Stop laughing,” and as I turned to face her,
WHAAM!
A thunderous cane landed on my back. I screamed like I had just stepped on hot coal, stood up instinctively, and started dancing Makosa. The whole class burst into laughter. The teacher, unimpressed, said, “Come to the front and read the comprehension. It seems you know too much.”
My eyes cleared immediately. I was still shaking from the cane when I walked to the front, rubbing my little back. I stood there with the book in my hands, staring at it like it owed me money. The letters were just dancing. It was as if the book was saying, “Didn’t I tell you I hated you? Now you believe me.”
I couldn’t understand anything. The only thing I recognized was “Je m'appelle Henry” I knew that one from primary school. I proudly read it.
But the teacher said, “Start from where I stopped, not from the beginning.”
I flipped through and guessed where she stopped.
I read:
“Ma mere east negotiate…”
Meanwhile, the book clearly said:
“Ma mère est négociante.”
Still, the teacher didn’t stop me, so I kept going confidently:
“Ella east aw march in ce moment, oo ella vend des vestments pour enfants.”
What was written:
“Elle est au marché en ce moment, où elle vend des vêtements pour enfants.”
I was just reading it like English!
Then the teacher looked at me and said, “S’agenouiller.”
I confidently replied: “14.”
The whole class exploded with laughter. Even my seatmate, who doesn’t know jack in French, was crying with laughter. 😂
The teacher shook her head and said, “You are a lost cause. Do you know that?”
I kept mute.
Then she said, “Asseyez-vous.”
Since I was already standing, I figured it meant “sit down,” so I went back to my seat, still trembling and sweating like a Christmas goat.
Thank you for reading till the end. I still don’t know how to make good sentences in French, even though I’ve tried learning it again in college 🤧 although I am better at it now.
N/B: The photos belong to me.