Yep!!!
That's me...
You probably wondering how I got myself into this situation....
Let me come clean. I was not the type that was normally afraid of doing Zoom calls, but unfortunately, one beautiful Friday morning like that, turned out to be the day I will become a long standing mute button ambassador.
It was a wide virtual meeting with some of my colleagues and boss, and that day happened to be the manager's birthday, everyone was fully present for the meeting and show face and also sing a birthday song. Even though I had no plans to sing, I was only present to witness the cake announcement even though I knew that I will only see the cake but my mouth will not taste anything, even the icing sugar.
But earlier before the meeting that day, I had eaten some very mad combinations of maize beans with a very soft bread garnished with two eggs then I stepped it down with a bottle of chilled Zobo. Shortly after I had eaten this questionable combination like someone who has planned not to eat for the next few days, my stomach began to do some royal rumbling and percussion sounds, but I thought it would only last for few minutes and I thought could survive the meeting.
Then unfortunately, it happened.
The anchor of the birthday party told us to unmuted our mic to sing the Happy birthday song, "It is time to sing the Happy birthday song and celebrate the celebrant, you can all unmute your mics."
Mumu me, I made a rash confident decision and clicked on the "unmuted all" joining the league of those who's stomach were settled unlike mine that was busy doing some DJ Consequence beat mix up.
And then boooooooom, I farted. Musically loud. It sounded like the combination of musical concerts trumpet and double bass played together.
Everywhere was silent like a graveyard.
There was a pause in the zoom room, not because the internet was bad, but because there was a might spiritual commotion. Some smiled, someone coughed. One lady immediately typed in the chat "What the hell was that??!' Another person responded saying, "the mighty troubled wind don blow."
And there came the real WWE blow on my face like Thor harmer hitting the rock, my name was all over the screen like a firework light doing its wonders in the atmosphere...the green call to attention of doom Zoom usually use to show who's speaking was on me, more brighter than the traffic green light and all attention was on me like I was the birthday celebrant.
Something close to spotlights focused on me like the main star during a concert.
I tried to cover it up with a fake smile and unnecessary cough, the people's eyes were on me which made it far worse and my cough sounded like a sick he goat.
From that very day, some of my colleagues started calling me "DJ Zoom." I wanted to consider pursuing the DJ career though maybe I would have been greatet than DJ Khalid by now.π
Ever since the incident occurred, I'm always on zoom with my earphones, and my mic is always checked and double muted because I don't want to score a brace by dropping another banger that will hit so hard like the atomic bomb that hit the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Because if you do not double check when your stomach is doing royal rumbling, zoom will make you more popular that you never expect because "I never expereit" ππ¨
Thank for reading.
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