Let me tell you something today, the worst enemy of fashion today is not fake designers or bad dressing sense, guess what it is...rain, yeah, especially that June-July rain, it doesn't fall, it attacks.
So it happened one Sunday morning , I had been invited over for a small owambe (party), I had plan to dress to kill, and I did, I dressed like I was going for an award winning.
I wore my screaming luxury brand-new senator outfit, it was black in color, very clean and crisp. You know the type that makes it hard for girls to not look your way, the type that makes aunties ask, “So you’re not yet married?” And let's not talk about my shoes. It's the best thing you can look down on😁, it was shining as if rubbed with groundnut oil, not to talk of my gold wristwatch and my perfume, checked myself out in the mirror, and guess what.....I am giving😉.
I stepped out of the house like a king, well, I wish I own a car, it would have been a very mad combo, with a fancy walking stick, but well, I had to carry my handsome and good looking self on a commercial bike.
But just as we got halfway to the venue, I saw it, a splash on the car next to our bike, I paused , another dropped, and I said yo myself, "this is not getting funny o, it better not rain..." while still trying to process it all, another dropped right on my my neck and just like it has been longing to touch me before letting itself loose, the thunder roar and the rain followed, rain wasn't falling, it attacked like ASSU strike.
I tried coming down from the bike to find a shop to run to, but my shoe wouldn't allow for that, it wasn't good for running, it was the if you run, you slip kind of shoes.
I wouldn't stay here right? I got down, tried threading carefully and then in just few steps to a shop I found I slipped and landed beside the gutter I was about to cross, I landed with all my steeze and composure.
I didn't stay grounded, I stood up with confidence as if nothing happened. People were looking, but I didn't want to give them what they want, deep down, my ego had started to crumble. I looked down and saw my outfit was no longer giving the "big, fresh guy" vibe. I entered more into the shop to ask the shop owner for help, she responded with a smile on her face after looking me from head to toe, "Oga, you are welcome o, haba na, na you and rain fight so?" fight rain so?”
Well, I had to return with a smile as well, an awkward smile. A girl about twelve years of age was there as well, she looked at me and said, "Uncle, he be like you fine before o, but see you now, you dun too soak, sand sef dun plaster your cheek." I wanted to talk, but I couldn't...me, a whole me fine before so am ugly now right...?
Why did GOD even allow children to speak freely? Are they not supposed to be mute till they are in their teenage years.
Here comes the most shocking part, just when I was adjusting my sleeve and squeezing water from my trouser, I heard a voice behind me.....
“Ah ah, Tunde?”
It happened to be Precious.
Why today, this was the same Precious I had been texting for over four months. The same lady I had been sending airtime and data to without reply, the same Precious I had seen her status that she was going to be at the owambe as well, the same Precious I was hoping to use this outfit to impress. But now, she had seen me looking like a soaked wool.
Well, I tried to form confidence, so I smiled and said,
“Sup Precious, it's the rain o, just small drizzle on my clothes"
She looked at me from toe to my head and replied, “This one pass drizzle, this one is baptism.”
And by the time the rain stopped, if you've seen what a drenched goat looked like , you would definitely know what I look like, I was looking homeless and tattered, my perfume wasn't giving anything good again, I had even taken off my wrist watch, I had rolled up my trousers , and my cloth was hugging my body so tight showing the shape of my little big tommy.
I still went to the party though , because I believe the number of people that had seen me this way is way more than those that will see me at the party, so shame had already left me, I cleaned my shoe, wore back my wristwatch, readjusted my cloth and went in. People looked my way and kind of giggled, but I was less concerned, I sat down and crossed my legs, I am trying to maintain my confidence.
The waiter came by, looked at me as if confused and asked, “Oga, are you sure you are being invited?”
I wanted to talk... didn't you see it rain, invited as how, did I just barge in here without invitation, what do you think of me, it's obviously not your fault......and many more were things I wanted to say.. but I couldn't.
I have had enough today already, I stood up and was on my way out when another waiter ran up to me and gave me a souvenir, she pointed to someone in the crowd, and guess who it was....well you guessed right, it was Precious, I didn't know what to say or do, I collected it and went home looking like someone that fought......
Ever since that day, I go about with an umbrella.
All pictures were generated using AI.
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