If you ever want to see a humble Nigerian parent just give him/her anything voice controlled, you would almost blame yourself.
Well, my big bro traveled and before then we were robbed, our TV and some stuffs were taken. So, he traveled and when returning he bought along a new smart TV, you know those kind of smart TVs that listens.....“increase volume, switch off, open netflix, volume up......." and those stuff.
We set it up in our sitting room, my dad was happy, come and see him flying around the house, its been a while he was opportuned to watch his favorite news channels, but then my brother announced..."we've moved a step further, from now on, just talk to this TV, you don't need a remote." As simple as that.
My father is a retired civil servant, one who never wants to be told how to do things, hr believes he knows better, and what's my own concern, mr I will just be looking at him🤣 to perform all his tactics and then come back to me to help him check certain things on his smartphone. But the day my bro brought this TV, I knew we are in for something, the moment we finished the set up and my bro commanded the TV to switch on, I glanced at my dad and I saw him nod, that nod of...“Hmm... I’m watching you, let's go there tech"
The first day was perfect, my brother used and controlled the TV like a boss, he kept issuing commands, if you see the way my dad was just giggling as if waiting for his turn😊, I knew this wouldn't end well.
The second day went smooth, come see the way my bro and dad sit with the TV all day..."Open Africa Magic." It opened.
"Volume up." It obeyed.
My dad wad there watching with all seriousness, though looking suspicious.
On the third day, my brother travelled. Nothing actually happens, we all went to church, went out again, we returned late and tired.
On the fourth day, come and see drama, it was a Monday, I went to work, and when I return I met my dad sweating profusely, he was standing in front of the TV shouting like a town crier.
*“TV! PLAY CHANNELS! I SAID CHANNELS!”
"OK OK, PLAY TVC! ARE YOU DEAF!"
He got silence as a response.
He turned to me, looking furious..."this thing is useless, you saw it work when your brother was around, I have been here since 11am....."
..I tried hard to not laugh. “Daddy, it has voice recognition, itt only obeys familiar voices.”
He blinked at me. "So, what are you telling me, that I don't know how to talk ir that a mere TV is doing tribalism now?”
Later that night, I heard my dad whispering like a Yahoo boy doing international call, I was curious snd tiptoed to check, come snd see my dad pleading...
*"Please now... open Supersport...theres match tonight, Supersport please. .. Super... Spɔrt.”
He even tried to readjust his accent....“Supersport.....Siper-spert"...
I was still trying my best to not laugh out loud when I heard..."Biko... abeg now...jor..why na” This man was begging television like a citizen begging an army.
You know when it got worse? It was when it automatically switched on and off by itself amidst pleading.
"Good you on....,tune in to Channels TV...no, don’t go! I am still talking to you! You’re very rude!”
I couldn't hold my laugh any longer, he looked at me and stormed in.
The nexy morning, my dad came out every early and dressed as if ready for battle, and the TV seems to have noticed that, so it started obeying... but not properly.
My dad sat down and in a kind if tone said..."TV, switch on, good of you, tune to Channels TV, wow, thats so wonderful of you, I guess I treated you bad yesterday 😂😂", it was still obeying every instructions until he asked it to increase the volume and the TV went up to 70. He shouted..."reduce the volume". But the TV increased the more.
By the time I got to the sitting room, my dad was standing with his hands on his head, and was now shouting louder than the TV itself.
“TV, OFF! OFF I SAID! I WILL DISCONNECT YOU! I SAID OFF!.
His eyes were red, he turned to me and said...*"Is this not madness? Am I not the one paying for electricity in this house, yet I'm here begging a mere television to go on and off!”.
The humiliating part that humbled my dad was when he ransacked through the drawer and found the remote my brother had kept just in case, he pressed it and issued another command, but then, the TV responded him, at that moment my dad was shocked...."Ahhh! You now talk! This thing is possessed! Did you hear it talk back now........"
..I couldn't talk or even laugh.
He asked me to pick up his phone and call my brother for him..."he must return this thing he brought home to give me high BP." he said.
From that day, he banned everyone from talking near the TV. You must not even cough, I wanted to pack it back into the carton and he said I shouldn't..."Just leave it there till the buyer return"
Funny enough, I still caught him one morning patting and whispering silently to it as if he's trying to beg/cajole it to do his bidding
“TV… you should remember me? Did my voice not sound like that of my son, I’m his dad, you can listen to me too, just switch on and don't volume up at all."
Silence followed, he looked up, sighed and sat down while mouthing words inaudible....
All images were generated using AI.
Thanks for taking your time to read through.