If only you could know how long I hid my face, all because of my Mama, all out of embarrassment, you'd really laugh or maybe have the heart to sympathize with me. Ten good years! Ten! Parents can remove you from timing, especially African mothers! These are lionesses and the way they look after their cubs, you'd think they'd never grow out to be big cats. Ah, let me stop the riddles and share my embarrassing moment of crush unloaded or is it offloaded?
Throwback Thursday, Hellooo?
I was in high school when it all happened. We had gone home for the holidays, so it was time to find bragging rights for the next semester. You feel me? But that was for the cool kids. Yes, city kids, not for villagers like me. The only brag I could take with me to school was how cool our church youth were, and the events and get-togethers the parish hosted for us.
Please stay with me. So, in the church youth, there was this guy who made my heart paragasha, as we say here (it means the design the heart beats, it's as if it wants to come out or scatter). He was from another local church, my potential boyfriend from high school. Mahn! I think I eyed him like a hawk. I must have drooled over him, crazy, yeah? It's the lack of paraffin in my food to suppress them emotions, haha.
Okay, no more off topics. That fateful holiday when it all happened, we had a zonal youth meeting at a different local church, not ours. Mama agreed to my attendance. After all, I'd done nothing to break her trust, or so she thought... teenagers! The meeting went well. We sang, we prayed, we ate. On our walk back from the church, my crush and I walked side by side. He offered to escort me a little from the main road. You should have seen my face..ah!
I couldn't allow him to go too far, less I got into trouble. So a few meters from the main road, around a certain bend, we stopped. He was now there shooting his shot, and I was busy drawing the map of Africa on the ground. Ei, mapeenzi? Nimekuita mara ngapi? (Ei, love? How many times have I called you?) Tell me why, my Mama who was supposed to be at home resting the Sunday off, was in the shopping center?! Mama!
Somebody pass me a saviet! In the middle of my map drawing, Mama stormed past, and gave me the command, "pita hii! (pass this way!)" I didn't even get to tell my vibes shooter goodbye! I meekly followed Mama. Her aura smelled trouble. And yes, I was in a hot soup. Imagine, eh, a few steps from my potential boyfriend, Mama delivered a hot suraaap... eei, where shall I hide my face? The speed that slap came was the speed my stupid crush left my heart to do its work! I could silently hear my mind telling my heart, "Oya, pump damu msee, mambo ya mapenzi wachana nayo! (Hey, pump blood mister, leave love matters alone!)
For ten good years, I never talked to that man! I came to talk to him in 2022. And guess what, he could still remember the slapš£. #Nostalgia
Thank you for readingā¤ļø.