Hello everyone. I hope everyone is well. This is my first post in this community. I thought I would start with something light, but I wanted to share the story of one of my deepest battles. Maybe many of you know this battle, which is the fear of uttering two words in our society, depression and anxiety.
One day, when I was in my second year of college, I suddenly felt like the world was holding me back. When I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I felt like a stranger in my own eyes. I would stay up all night but I didn't even understand why. I would put on a mask in front of my family or friends that "I'm fine!" But inside, I would cry and cry and get tired.I know about society. When I first told my cousin about going to a mental counselor, he laughed and said, "Are these fashionable? It wasn't so normalized in our time!" Hearing these words, I felt like a criminal. The problem here is that we think of mental pain as 'abnormal'. In the name of religion, some say, "Pray," others say, "Get married, everything will be fine!" But no one asks, "What's wrong with you?"
An incident last year opened my eyes. When I went to a psychiatrist's office and told him that I was dizzy all the time and didn't want to do anything. He got angry and said, "You're telling the truth!" That day, I realized how deep the tendency is not only in society, but also in medicine to consider our suffering as 'unreal'.
But I didn't give up. I found a way to survive on my own. Every morning, I wake up and write in a diary. Today I was scared because I liked that moment. This paper has become my most trusted friend. Another thing I learned is the power to say "no." Before, I used to exhaust myself trying to meet everyone's expectations. Now I understand that my own well-being comes first.
Another thing that has kept me alive is the online community. I read a story about an unknown brother in a Facebook group that said, "I'm not alone." Reading that line made me feel ashamed of thinking I was sick for the first time. I want to share that belief with this community of yours.Why did I share this story? Because some of you might be thinking right now, "Am I crazy? Or if you tell anyone, you'll be removed from the list! Remember that your pain is not unrealistic. Yes, it may take time to change the misconceptions of family and society. But we can start by ourselves. For example,
When someone says, "There's no point in getting angry," then reply, "My head is cool, but my heart is hurt." Share the stories behind the pictures of a fulfilling life on social media. If you ever feel like you shouldn't tell anyone, then look into a safe space like this community.It wasn't easy to be so open in this first post. But I wrote it with faith in you. If someone is sitting in the dark today, remember that I won't ignore your pain. Maybe I can't help by extending a hand, but I can say: "You are not alone."