Earlier today, I had a brief comment exchange with @tarazkp and I found myself considering the issue of feeling ineffectual in the world, in some sense — be it your work, your social life, your skills or something else.
Just for reference, I'll excerpt a bit from one comment (mine):
Comparisons are deadly. Your life is YOUR life.
In comparing myself to the typical success-driven and ambitious cut-throat corporate ladder climber of western culture, I am utterly ineffectual! But what's the point of "envying" something I don't actually value? I never performed well in the current economy save for a handful of soul-crushing years in the IT industry...
The irony is that I have an Honors degree in Finance & Business Management, and all it really has done for me is shine the light on the fact that the old ways are destructive and we must invent new and better — more human centered — ones.
What prompted this whole line of thinking is the uncomfortable reality that we more often assess our skill sets, strengths and weaknesses in the context of "what the world can USE" rather than "what WE need."
If I were to sit down and evaluate my skills, experience and strengths in the context of the greater world, I would — objectively speaking — be found lacking.
But should we really throw ourselves out with the bathwater on that basis?
For example, I am utterly useless in the context of ambitious cutthroat corporate ladder-climbing, Armani-suited business hustlers. Just a fact. But that's not the real POINT here.
The point is that I have no reason to compare myself, fall short and feel envy for something I don't even VALUE!"
Hence why "comparisons" are deadly.
What so often holds people back (I say this based on having "done time" as a work purpose coach, many years back) is they judge themselves negatively as unworthy based on irrelevant comparisons.
Because I am large and tall, I will never be a famous horse racing jockey! But since I have no interest in that, in the first place, why even make it an argument or rationale?
"Dude! Where are you going with this??"
What we often do is create our own fences that we perceive will prevent us from doing any number of things we want to do.
ONE of the things those figurative fences do, is prevent us from being authentic and honest about our skills, strengths and weaknesses for fear of discovering that what we are truly best at will place us in a very tiny micro-niche.
Case in Point: WHY I Sucked at "Korporate Amerika"
My greatest challenge is that I am a very slow learner. My learning curve is horrible, compared to most people. When faced with something new, it will take me four weeks to reach a level of aptitude most people reach in three days.
I am also horrible at constant task switching. I pretty much get nothing done if I have to work three minutes on this, then eight minutes on that, then six minutes on the other, and then back to the first.
My greatest strength is my determination to grind difficult things out... LONG past when everyone else is bored to tears or have given up.
And, interestingly enough, one of my greatest strengths is my learning ability. Converse to taking forever to learn a basic skill, after a couple of years I'm likely to have become more "expert" at whatever it is than 99% of the people who were so far ahead of me in the start.
What's more I don't get bored. If you need me to do the same repetitive thing for ten years straight I'll be the best choice you ever made!
However, the corporate world is a fast changing, multi-tasking, on-the-surface, go-go-go situation, and my proclivity for long term focused excellence is the exact opposite of what's needed.
Does that make me ineffectual in an overall sense? Heck no! I would only be ineffectual if I were comparing myself to some kind of universal scale, rather than my own.
Finding Our Place...
Finding our place has a lot to do with getting real with ourselves. And with learning to pursue our own standards — of work, of living, of lifestyle — rather than global standards.
For the past 20+ years, I've applied my particular skill set to things like selling old postage stamps to collectors online, painting tiny patterns on rocks, blogging pretty much daily, even.
All of these have in common that they are very consistent micro-tasks that follow a constant format. One blog post... "out there, done, finished." Paint one rock... "out there, done, finished." Make an eBay listing... "out there, done, finished."
Now repeat thousands and thousands of times.
To most people, probably mindnumbingly boring. And yet? Within the small areas I "populate," I am probable in the top 1% in the world. To the world "in general," probably useless. But so what?
Comparisons are deadly. Your life is YOUR life.
To whom is it that you want to matter? WHO are you trying to impress?
Everyone has true aptitudes, strengths and weaknesses. We just have to identify them, and then be honestly objective about them... and pursue them!
What are YOURS?
Thanks for reading, and have a great remainder of your week!
How about YOU? Have you taken an objective inventory of your skills, strengths and weaknesses? Are you doing the work that makes use of them? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20210309 15:57 PST
0205/1448