Oh Vanity

Don't worry, I was like you.

I used to constantly mock these meatheads pumping muscles in front of the mirror. I am an intellectual, you know, I thought I will always have the elegance of a dandy, a skinny frame and a cigarette on my lips, my long fingers running through the neck of my Ibanez.

That was until I moved to South Africa 10 years ago. You need to understand that the average "boet" in Johannesburg is big like a Boer bull, with arms than can crush you with a handshake, and the bone density of a tree trunk. It never prevented me at the time to steal their girlfriends, and get into all sort of fights after few drinks, or getting little-brothered by other men.
"All sort of fights" meaning having a bigger pal that has my back, while I keep on breaking their girlfriends hearts.

The men in South Africa are descendants of people that survived lions attacks, genocides, hippos attacks, attackers attacks and all sort of sh*t that would make you smile for a split second until you realise that they aren't kidding. Africa is a rough place, and its people are equally as resilient and strong, don't worry I am going somewhere with that.

Me on the other hand, I come from nobility, an old family that survived the French revolution through possibly blackmailing Robespierre as a result avoiding the guillotine, and got through the 18th and 19th century through a narrow metaphorical and historical passage that only a skinny frame could fit in.

We weren't particularly agile, or courageous, nor hard working people neither.

It's interesting to note that my grandfather was the first Privat de Garilhe to work (I mean by this having a job) and the bravest of all, as a excellent tactician and intrepid parachutist.

Capitaine Regis Privat de Garilhe (on the right)

So it is very safe to say, that my genetic background did not make me predisposed to combat, nor particularly resistant (my grand father was a resistant in the historical term) to diseases or pain.

If we were a metal, that would probably be something light and malleable like aluminium, kinda practical but definitely not strong.

To my surprise, I found myself in the midst of 2010 very interested in MMA and UFC after a friend showed me a DVD of the most brutal Knockout of the decade. Anderson Silva, Matt Hugues, GSP, Royce Gracie, true legends of the sport. For me it looked a lot like Coq fighting.

I was at first very reluctant to watch, pure violence doesn't do well with my stomach, and there's a reason for that.

From an early age, I got punched in the face a lot. I think it's because I have a pretty face, so it makes me very punchable, and even my soon-to-become best friend at the time Pascal, decided to get me all bloodied on our first encounter.

I came back home with a bloody nose, bloody lips, and my mum completely losing her sh*t as her baby boy was once again being subject to bullying.

To be fair, Pascal wasn't bulling me. He knew Karate, I didn't, which resulted in me getting my a** kicked. The problem is that I had a big mouth (3rd child syndrome), combine this with a knack for finding the worst people to hang around with, and you get the worst recipe for disaster.

I went through the rest of my school years getting into fights, for only getting saved by my friends last minute (often Pascal). Sometimes the aggressor would take sympathy and we would become best friends, smoke a blunt and everything was forgiven.

The first time I really defended myself was in front of my high school. I decided to learn Capoeira at the time, and to be fair, I was getting obsessed with it and pretty good at it. It was long before i got bit by the MMA bug, and I thought Capoeira was the ultimate form of self defence.

After few years of practice, I convinced myself that I had become a deadly weapon (with noodle arms), and my attitude changed drastically.

Capoeira, not a threatening martial art

One day in front of my highschool in Versailles, two tough guys decided to take me aside and use me as a punching bag. I right away started dancing (doing the "jinga") and while they started laughing at me, I kicked their a**ses. Don't underestimate your opponent, that was the lesson for them that day. One of them lost his shoe in the fight, and did not care to get it back.

I was a hero at my school, one girl in particular was really impressed by my fighting spirit, which I took advantage of for a while 🤣.

Few years later, I bumped into one of the bully, that admitted how surprised they were about my tenacity, and how I defended myself at the time. He also told me that day they were just looking for a skater to beat up, and found the nerdiest (and dandiest) guy they could find, for only getting humiliated in front of everyone. They weren't even from our school.

I eventually lost interest in Capoeira, and realised few years later how inefficient it was in a one on one combat, even so against 2 opponent. The truth is that I got lucky that day, and we were in Versailles, France of all place, the least threatening and dangerous town on earth.

Fast forward 12 years later, I live in the most dangerous place on earth, there is statistically an average of 58 homicides a day in Johannesburg, and the brutality of the acts would make Hannibal Lecter shy away from the action.

Skinny Ed was non threatening

I was getting involved seriously with my soon to be wife, especially since we were having our first child, and I had to learn how to defend myself and the ones I love, that's what any good father and husband should do. It was around that time that I discovered the joy of Mix Martial Art and Brazilian Ju-Jitsu.

I Joined "Monkey jits" in Blairgowrie Randburg with Rodney King as a sensei, he learnt his BJJ with Jean-Jacques Machado, a world renown killer, I got into the technique, I bought the gi, I was going at open mats (sparring sessions with higher belts) every Thursday, and getting my ass handled on a platter every time.

It was very frustrating, and the most frustrating part of all is that everyone was repeating me that my small frame was not an issue, I could very quickly leverage a much bigger opponent with good technique, it was all about technique you know?

I call bullsh*t on this, having a man that weight at least 100 pounds over you dripping sweat down your throat is probably one of the most emasculating moment of my life. But I hanged on, being raggeddolled by much more aggressive fighters, that just enjoyed way too much shocking me, I eventually had enough and quit.

The second reason why I quit BJJ, is after a very awkward "roll" (sparring session on the ground) with a pretty lady, when I lifted her and she wrapped her legs around my waist, I started having an erection and thought "Are we almost f*cking right now?" and that was it for me.
Beside, I did not have enough cash to take the classes, I begged Rodney to letting me come for free, I wanted my son to also come for free to the classes, he never answered back to my email, thinking I was probably not serious about fighting, and to be fair, I can't blame the guy, it was a business, not the red cross.

I was just very broke and probably starving. It was 2017, I was still smoking cigarettes at the time and very well underfed, good food in South Africa cost money. You can feed yourself with nothing of course, and by this I mean that you can buy pap (maze porridge) for ZAr10 which isn't even a dollar, but the nutritive quality of the food isn't enough to make you bulk.

Everybody keep on repeating to me "eat some pap", but it wasn't enough. What changed my habits was to join steemit at the time.

We starting earning cash, I started eating more, I stopped smoking cigarettes and it gave me a boost of confidence. The rest of the journey was really much focused on training everyday, little bit by little bit with no piece of equipment. Just me, myself, and calisthenics.

Calisthenics give you a strong core, and good fighting chance

I learnt how to move, shadowbox, how to condition my fists and my shins, how to keep my hands up, and most importantly , I got strong and very fit.

To give you an idea, I was 145 Lbs (65kg) end of 2017. I am currently weighting between 187 lbs (85kg) and 192 lbs depending on the day.

I am training everyday, not a day rest. My routine consist a day of muscle building, then HIIT (often 1 hour of burpees and shadowboxing), then muscle building again, then HIIT again, and so on, with no day rest.
I don't like to rest, it makes me weak. My wife complained at first as it takes at least one to two hours of my day, but she now enjoys my new physique and feels protected.

I can take a punch, I can give one, and I will take you down and choke you. I also know when not to fight, but I won't let you get close and I also know when to run. I am still a white belt in BJJ, but it doesn't matter, I don't need belt to prove that I can defend myself if needed, and I rarely get sick.

My mind is also sharp as an Iron, I take cold bath with Ice, follow the Wim Hof method with a coach.

I watch every UFC event and know everything there is to know about the MMA lore (I am not a "casual anymore"), I love violence and I never look down when another man look at me straight in the eye looking for trouble. My next step is to take Muay Thai lessons again, as it helps me work on my stance, and conditioning. I also need sparring partner, as shadowboxing and punching trees becomes lonely.

We need strong people in this world, and smart ones also.

One isn't incompatible with the other.

Soon I could post my gym routine if you are interested, if you aren't it doesn't matter as I will keep on training everyday until the end.

Any questions?