I feel like I'm writing this a lot but I have been feeling exhausted lately. It's been a struggle to get through the workday and once that's done I've been on the couch. My mom has pushed me to try and find another doctor. I finally did yesterday, will have to wait a month for the appointment though. Hopefully, I'll get some help, my previous doctor was quite useless, to be honest.
Earlier this week my employer offered me a new contract. Working 75% until September (like I do now), and from then on 50% until the end of the year. Even though that's kind of what I wanted I reluctantly accepted. Feels hard to work this much throughout the summer (even though I'll have a holiday). But that's also because I feel like I do. I feel I really need to rest now. But well, I know the financial uncertainty also would be stressful, if I just didn't work for some time. And since I'm feeling like I do I don't really trust that I would have enough energy to manifest what I would like to happen. I have been in that situation before and that wasn't fun. Taking a leap of faith and then falling.
But it's hard to know. Because sometimes that's just what we need to do. And that's the dilemma I have been dealing with lately. But well, I chose to stay in the system for now. I'll also really try to get help from the traditional health care system. It's about time. And this time I will not accept them telling me I'm depressed. That has been true sometimes in the past but not now. I know how it feels to be clinically depressed and I'm far from that. But of course, I'll continue to do what I can to heal myself in a natural way. Meditate, practice yoga, walk in nature, eat healthily, and so on.
About two weeks ago I also started a hypnotherapy treatment for my digestive issues (I'm pretty sure I have IBS even though I have never been properly diagnosed, but that's also what I'll discuss with my new doctor). I'll be her nightmare patient I guess. All these vague issues that they can't really cure...Anyway, it's quite interesting, I actually bought an app and have access to hypnotherapy sessions. It's a six weeks program and you are supposed to do a session every day. So far I have managed. I'll do my best to stick with it and I'll probably write an update after having completed the six-week program (before that you can't really expect any results).
I have also found some useful exercises on YouTube (I use YouTube a lot because I really like learning by watching videos, that's also how I learn about crypto by the way). I'll do my best to do these exercises every day because I have so much pain in my shoulders and upper back. I know that's caused by my job but well, by now it's gotten so bad so the pain is constantly there and I have to do something about this. And this is so even though I practice yoga several times a week. I can't even imagine where I would be without my yoga practice. But right now, it's not enough. I also feel I need to release these tensions so I don't injure myself somehow since pole dancing requires a lot of shoulder strength and I need to build these muscles.
This is where I'm at right now. Even though I struggle with my health I usually manage not to let that bring me down too much. I also try to think of it as a sign. A giant sign by now. It has really forced me to look inside and I'm not sure if I would be on a spiritual path if I hadn't faced these challenges. I have definitely become more aware. And it constantly reminds me of what's important in life. And I feel grateful for that. And I truly believe, deep down, that I will find the key one day. And I will feel the energy flowing again.
I also know that I have had a lot on my plate lately and might have pushed myself a bit too much with the coaching. Now I have actually decided to take a bit of a break. Lately, I have done some work on my website and I hope to launch it quite soon. Stay tuned 🙂
Thanks for reading 🙏
Love and blessings to you all 💚
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