This will be essential for all the chili powder freaks out there, god knows I call myself one. I love spicy food and I sometimes overdo it - and it feels awesome. It cleanses me from the inside and I just love the extra layer of taste and experience added to a good dish when it burns the mouth to satisfaction.
However, there is a big downside to having chili powder around or working on fresh chilies for that matter - especially in a camper van where things tend to move about the car and can get spilled on occasion or touch other items by accident: It's highly dangerous if you use chili powder or chili flakes in the wrong place and don't notice they have been spilled or contaminated an area other than the dinner table.
The eyes are a no-go, they will tear up and try their best to get rid of the burning material that got introduced by accident. They will rinse themselves out as best they can but it will still hurt like hell.
You have to make sure you don't touch your eyes or eye-lids after you have either used a chili powder dispenser (and can't be 100% sure whether there isn't any on the outside of the container) or after having touched something else that may have gotten into contact with it.
But you know what really hurts? Going peeing as a man in nature after you accidentally tainted your hands with chili powder from cooking without realizing it. Wow! I never had so much odd pain in my crotch. Not sure ladies can relate but it's both hilarious because the situation is quite unexpected, yet the testies are burning as if they had been cut off. Not that I know what that would feel like.
It starts with an itch of sorts, a tickle. And your mind goes: Huh? What happened there?
And then waves of utter burning and searing sensations, intensifying to ever more audacious degrees that are mind-numbing and impossible to escape unless you are a trained yogi. My oh my.
It's not that it really is that dangerous I think, it's just that the capsicum in chilies acts on the receptors designated for heat and warmth. This is why it feels they are burning when they factually aren't. But WOWIE!
Knowing that drinking water after a hot meal won't do anything to soothe the pain (it merely spreads the burning chili powder around in the mouth rather than neutralizing it) I still found myself trying to wash myself off mindlessly. To no avail. The pain will only subside for a few seconds (as the water is colder than body temperature) but then quickly resume regardless of how much water you pour. You could sit in a bathtub or something but who has the time to do that, or the means when out living in a camper van?
Washing yourself feels quite futile actually, which makes it all the tougher to get through. Even soap won't do a thing. I tried. Yesterday. Thus I swore I would write this article today to save you chili nuts out there, and your nuts.
So then my lady suggested I use oil instead. That seemed like a great idea! Or a terrible one. Had to think of chili oil and how hot that can get if soaked long enough. But then it wouldn't stay on my skin anyways so I gave it a go. Instantly. Anything to make the pain subside. HOT HOT HOT.
The pain level dropped to about 10% in a matter of seconds. Utter serenity! It subsided further and minutes later I could hardly tell anything weird had happened other than the weird sensation of an oily crotch.
Guess it doesn't really matter which oil you use, I had coconut oil handy. Just make sure it's not chili infused oil, ahahaha. that would be post-worthy!
So, the healing order for life on Earth goes as follows: Got a cut or an open wound? Use chili powder on it to prevent infection. Got chili powder in your eyes, nose or crotch now because you forgot that you just put it on your wound?
Try any sort of oil.
It might sound trivial, but even if just one of you remembers this on day X my job here will have been worth it.
You're welcome <3
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