How grounded I've been, of late - having come out of the heady, anxious months travelling and attending to the world's anxiety as it was gripped by the pandemic, I felt so out of balance. It's only since I've been rooted again here, on my land, that I have felt balance return. Yet still, the shifting patterns of my life bring insights and energies, especially in August, where the weather changes on a pin - hot, sunny and bright one moment, wet and foggy the next.

I've been reflecting these past few days on how the elements of earth, air, fire and water move within me, and how they manifest as particular traits or emotions. It's an interesting exercise in awareness, and stops me being swept up by one element or another. In meditation, to label a thought can allow it to simply be a thought, rather than attach to it. By identifying how one element or another is at play in me, I can allow the other elements to shift and move amongst each other as they need to.

EARTH

Ah, how much I appreciate the element of earth these days. I never knew how important it was to BE earth, because I always saw it as bullish, slow, clumsy and boring, rigid and stubborn. But it's earth I long for the most when I'm so full of air I'm floating away. Earth anchors, nourishes, nurtures. Without earth I'm lost - it's the heartbeat, it's steadiness, it's the womb. It's the percussion in music. It's steady and sure and true. It's me at my most patient and harmonious, which is often impossible for me to achieve, especially when I'm stressed!

Earth is me cooking, gardening, and having sex!! It's me pottering about, feeling good in my bones, kneading bread and planting seeds. It's my practical, resourceful side. I feel most comfortable when I'm properly earthed, and it's why this last month has seen me more at ease than I've been all year, because I'm literally locked down on my land and can't work or go anywhere! I love it.

Whenever I think of the earth in me I think of me free bleeding onto the earth as a teenager, sure in her body, or walking barefoot. This was me most connected to who I was, to my roots, to my femininity, my strength and steadiness.

AIR

I'm not a fan of the wind. It unsettles me. Perhaps it's because when air is at work with me, it's so much in the intellectual realm that I fail to feel earthed and grounded. It's easy to become swept up in ideas and philosophies, in fears and and worries and paranoia when I'm all up in my head. I feel myself whirring, my cells vibrating, my heart beating to fast. It's why I seek warm baths and heavy blankets, and the comforting cave of my yoga room, when air is too much within me. Air is my thoughts working overtime. Air is anxiety at it's worst.

But air is also my intelligence, and my quick thinking. It's my ability to change and transform, to be adaptable and flexible. It's my curiousity, my desire for knowledge, to travel, to try new things. I couldn't do without the presence of air - just I can't function with too much of it. It's too heady and giddy, too ungrounded. It's the element I have a real love hate relationship with, more than any other element, but as Libran, I AM an air sign - and I'm married to an air sign. We tend to go, go, go, and fail to do things to ground ourselves, which is needed more than ever in this crazy world. Lucky we live very close to the earth, which we spend a lot of time on for good reason - it balances out our airiness!

FIRE

When fire blazes into my being, I'm all about activity. The sun motivates me, pushing me out into doing. Masculine energy dominates at the expensive of the feminine. This is my excitement, passion, enthusiasm and bouncy exhuberance that can be intimidating to some. When my fire energy is dominant, my sister tells me to 'quieten down', which always used to upset me - as if she was not appreciating this strong and assertive part of me that made her uncomfortable. Perhaps because there are all different colours in fire - some are loud, aggressive and bright, whereas other colours are motivating, ambitous,and courageous. Fire can be confusing, too, as it can be anger or joy - both can be overwhelming. I find fire a tricky one to deal with, especially as I have so much air in me to fan the fire, so it quickly can grow out of control in quite the negative way!

But the good fire in me is love and joy, and it's warm feelings toward others, and spiritual love. I feel warmed right from my centre when this fire is kindled. Interestingly, fire is also linked to Venus, which is my ruling planet - it makes sense that this is side of myself that feels very essential and very much part of who I am. I like to cook for others, to sit around a fire, to offer a 'hearth' for friends to feel at home.

Fire is also those 'sparks' of creativity that flare in me and drive me to create.

It's most prevalent in the springtime, as I walk in the changing light and shadows of the day, watching the sun sparkle on the water or the flare of light through the gum trees, setting the tops ablaze and filling my heart with poetry. I feel as if the seeds of my ideas crack under the sunlight and start growing, becoming larger, beautiful things that are visible in the world.

WATER

My name, @riverflows, reminds me to be like water, although it is often difficult. I practice flowing - letting what will be, be, and going with the tidal pulls of emotions rather than resisting or settling into one emotional state or the other.

When the water pools around rocks, worrying at the flotsam in it's path, it just swirls and settles, and stagnates there. I can feel it - my limbs feel heavy and dull, my blood thick and inert - water dulls the fire of digestion, the fire of motivation. Too much water is not good for anyone - it does need to flow and move. Just the right amount of water flowing through, and I'm at ease with most things. Water's my flexiblity, my adaptability and easygoingness. However it's also those flooding emotions that overwhelm me, my sensitivity and tenderness that find it difficult to be in a harsh world.

In the past, it's been my sentimentality and nostalgia, holding onto those precious memories of the past - except these days, having found a little more balance, that just flows through me quickly now. Still, pass the tissues. When water's flowing in me, I cry at the drop of a hat. Like sob and sob like there is no tomorrow - particularly if I see people suffering, or I'm fed up and strung out.

Water feeds me, too. I'm most at home in the water element, particularly as the summer rises and I start to wilt. I feel comforted by cool water, floating the sea or surfing - it takes the heaviness out of me. It's typical of cancerians - I have a cancer moon - to seamlessly move between water and shore, existing between material and watery, emotional worlds. So I'll be a watery mess, a mermaid, absent and in my own deep oceans, then I'll be back on the earth, practical as fuck, no nonsense.