It's kinda ironic you ended with an apology for revealing something you are struggling with. You don't need to do that, especially with the Hive family, who accept you fully.
I can imagine what a struggle this is as even though I have an accepting family, I still feel like I'm having to measure to societies standards somehow. It is a lifelong journey of self love and acceptance.
It seems your sister has been conditioned to live life how she was raised but you determinedly baulked against it. I have utter admiration for your strength in doing so. π
I wonder if practicing compassion for them might help you cope? I'm sure you might do already but perhaps an overt practice of understanding why it is they behave in such a way. Because worrying about what others think must say a lot about how they feel about themselves.
I hope you find the strength to shrug off their attempted interference with who you are and rest easy in yourself whilst maintaining a relationship with them too. It does sound like you need some distance for you to feel good but that's hard I know. Do you think you are still seeking approval from them in a subconscious way?
Sorry to hear your Dad is ill. Mine too. π
RE: 10,000 Hours - Hour 360