Hi there! Here is short announcement.
I spend time in the UK with a lady with Dementia who is 85 years old.
Ann is the mother of my friend @atma.love. Recently, when we spoke, he invited me to take care of his mother. Since my projects are not tied to my country, I agreed and my third week is ending.
As an occupational therapist, I worked in a nursing home and visited the elderly at home. This is what I completed my studies in and this profession is very dear to me.
Dementia is amnesia. Memory loss.
"I'm wondering if I did something wrong," Ann replied when I asked her where she was with her thoughts. "Do you have that feeling but can't remember what it connects to?" I continued. "Oh, I don't know. I can't think about it now."
Imagine that you are suffering from dementia and someone makes you feel guilty for not knowing how to deal with you?
This often happens, especially with family members who are not familiar with how to deal with such a person.
We have to be extremely careful and sensitive when dealing with dementia. In no way should we allow ourselves to upset the person. A person with dementia is inherently confused.
Ann was about to turn off the house heating last night when she noticed that the radiators were still hot, but before she even got to the thermostat, she forgot why she was in the kitchen.
We need to make the person with dementia feel that they are still responsible for themselves. Ann is mildly offended whenever I tell her she will need my help in the shower. She persists in her thoughts until the moment when she is actually gripped by fear while sitting in the bath. Then she's grateful that I'm there. She never washes herself. She knows in her heart that she can't do it herself, but she doesn't remember why. She only recognizes the unpleasant feeling she perceives.
Memory loss in dementia probably works in a similar way to our memory or the connection with our subconscious.
Certain things remain and are never forgotten.
Ann sewed curtains, which she still looks at and adores every day. She opens them in the morning, closes them in the evening.
Her daughter calls her twice a day. Ann knows exactly who's calling and it's getting on her nerves.
For the first few days, Atma and I were cleaning the house. I found some really good pieces of clothing that Ann no longer wears. I wear one of her pieces almost every day because I wonder if she'll remember that it's hers. "Oh, I love this color of the sweater, so pretty!," she comments or "I really like your outfit."
Ann loves the gas fire in the fireplace. She also watches her teddy bears and dances with her hands. We listen to all the best evergreen music and treat ourselves to a piece of chocolate or pie every day. If she is cold, I cover her with a blanket. She likes that very much. She orients herself by the clock and knows exactly when it is time for lunch and dinner, and most of all, when it is time to sleep. We also found a forgotten plant under the living room shelf. We made sure it got soil and want. The plant came to life anew and was named Freddy.
If you know someone with dementia, pay attention to them and show them that they have not lost their identity with memory loss. It is wrong that the environment reacts like this. The same applies to other diseases - we should never act in isolation. Let the person always be included in our attention, in the conversation, even if he can only nod his head.
It can also be observed that some people are impatient with repeating questions. Let's meditate and realize that it is never exactly the same. Every time is a new beginning, a unique moment.
Time flows differently, everything is only now. That's how it seems to me when I watch Ann and that's how it should be.
I could tell you a lot more, but that will be enough, unless you want more?
Ann is also looking for a new person to take care of her, after I leave. It is desirable that this person follows a spiritual path, is preferably a vegetarian and is open to natural medicine.
If someone feels a strong call to this work, a big heart and at least some experience counts.
Please comment below and mention @atma.love
Wish us luck!
Share, and above all enjoy!
All photos taken by me (unless noted otherwise)