Self-confidence, the ability to cope with setbacks and future success originate in early childhood and are directly related to the behavior of us parents. We have collected tips from psychologists and parents of successful children, who will ask you how to raise a child's self-confidence.
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Excessive demand, severity, and high expectations from adults can create an inferiority complex in a child of any age. As a result, children simply resign themselves to mom and dad's constant discontent and unconsciously try to make sure of such emotions in the simplest way, avoiding actions: in this way, the risk of making a mistake practically disappears.
Self-confidence "grows" out of a sense of security: If the baby knows that at a difficult time parents will come to the rescue, it will not be difficult for him to learn to believe in his own strength. For example, sometimes we take the common advice "don't interfere with children's conflicts" too literally. Should you stand aside when your 3 year old is offended by a 5 year old? The parents' task is precisely to calm the situation, isolate the bully, avoid fights and tears; in other words, protect the baby and explain that one day he will be able to cope with such difficulties himself.
Not only will you avoid a fight, but you will also "nurture" the child with the necessary level of confidence. It is very simple: if you believe in your own children, sooner or later they will believe in their own strength.
What stands in the way of success?
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- Increased anxiety.
It is unlikely that a parent who fears everything in the world (trouble, failure, condemnation) can raise a self-confident person. The child absorbs our anxiety like a sponge, which means that we will have to change our attitude towards ourselves and the world and learn to obtain a true pleasure from life, not overshadowed by worries.
- Comparison system.
All children painfully react to parents' speeches, by comparing them to others, you first question their uniqueness, and second, make it clear that you like other children much more. Constant comparisons form a fear of "not being good enough" in children, which remains with them forever.
- Negative statements.
If you react to the company of any child with phrases: "It will not be successful" or "Something did not work very well", there is no need to talk about any success. Of course, you want to save her from failure and disappointment, but let our children try their luck in whatever way they think is right. Yes, not all children will become great artists, but if your child wants to paint, just support her in this effort. He will set big goals for himself when he grows up.
- Correction error.
Parents who are ready to list their mistakes and sins with manic precision are sure that they are acting strictly in the best interest of the child. But in reality, they only console her ego and cultivate in the child a feeling of guilt for the endless failures. Children "undervalued" in childhood, who become adults, literally begin to pursue praise and, not receiving it, feel very insecure.
Learn to sensibly understand and evaluate your child's chances, and more importantly, there will be fewer reasons for reproach and many more reasons for pride and praise.
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