One of the biggest problems with the human race, is that we see strength as important in a leader.
The problems with strength are:
- Strength can be mimicked, especially when there are no actual events that show real strength of character.
- We see the ability to put others down, the ability to be belligerent, and fake anger as signs of strength.
- Strength, the perception of, can be easily be faked on television/media.
- Psychopaths can easily mimic strength.
In other words, our primal need for safety is hijacked to get you to vote psychopaths into positions of power.
Look at Trump. All he does is put down other people, and continually push the deal until he is the victor in the negotiation. And, people love him, because he is "our bully". And when one side has been bullied overly much, for too long, that is what they look for in a "leader".
Well, we really need to stop bullying the other side, and we will learn that compassion is the thing that is really important in the person who collectively negotiates for us.
Narcissists / Psychopaths / Sociopaths
The DSM has put all of these under the heading "Narcissist", and "narcissism" is being used to describe ex-boyfriends who where jerks, or any guy who doesn't agree with the latest narrative. So, the term has been very watered down and confused.
For me, the thing that defines a narcissist is that they have no warm empathy. Or, in other words, they have to fake compassion, and they are very bad at it.
They see other people they way you and i would view a television. If it is working for them, it is good, else just throw it away. There is no emotion about getting rid of the person who is not doing what they are supposed to be doing for the narcissist. Whether it is their child, or a stranger. If they are not providing narcissistic supply, they are useless, and are discarded.
Narcissists have no remorse over destroying someone's life. Even going so far as to push them over the edge. In fact, they might really enjoy doing so. Even their own son. Even on their son's death bed, they won't let up.
So, as a "leader", they may be very good at getting the best deal, but it will be because they want to beat the other negotiator. However, they will not consider the good of the people he is negotiating for, nor the people on the other side. The people who voted for this "leader" will only get what they want, if it happens to align with what the narcissist wants, and bargains for.
Zero Sum Games Are So Last Century
In order for a leader to improve the situation for the people who elected them, they must have compassion. Caring for the people and their well being is a must.
Further, both negotiators need to be compassionate, so that they can work on a win-win solution. We have had enough of win-lose negotiation. We aren't enemies, even if we are. We are both groups on this planet, and being different, but wanting the best for our group, means that we want what is best for all groups, and the earth. And so, a win-win solution should be the minimum solution we should accept.
To do this, we need compassionate and wise negotiators. Not people who want to take advantage of the other group. Not people who secretly (or not so secretly) want the other group gone/destroyed. And so, we do not want narcissists anywhere near leadership positions where compassion is needed. And that is every position we currently have in government.
Compassion Tests
We cannot test for psychopathology. The best test we have, is to print out the list of criteria for narcissism and have the subject read it and answer if they are or not.
Where narcissists really fail is in knowing how to "compassionately respond". Like, instead of saying "i am sorry your father died", they may something like, "aren't you glad that the bastard is dead?" It may be true that he was a bastard, but that is not the thing you say during the time someone is suffering from a loss.
In the future, we will have all candidates for any office, at their debate, we will have them both sit down, and write out answers to questions like: "List the top 10 reasons why your opponent here, will fill this position excellently." Not only is this opposite of what we do today, just tearing everyone else down, but we will find that it can't be mimicked. Even if they know the specific question, and memorize ten answers, they will write things down incorrectly. They do not recognize the importance in the words they memorized, and so, will makes some weird sounding answers.
And, as we comprehend the narcissist, and how their minds work, we will see their incompassion show up in those answers, and we will also comprehend how we should never have them in positions of power.
(You can also see where this goes when we apply these criteria to leaders, CEOs of corporations. If all they are concerned about is profits, even at the loss of the ecosystem, then we do not want them anywhere near those offices.)
A lot of things happen between now and then.
Not only do we learn to negotiate peace, lasting peace, but our ability to defend ourselves will go way up.
The war between IsReal? and Palestine would have never been allowed to get to that stage. The actual people involved would have been questioned, and so that the people helping bring about peace knew what all sides wanted. And, being wise, these people would have saw that the Rots-childs didn't really want IsReal?, they just wanted to push the other people out of their holy city.
And, the so called "Iron dome" would have been something both sides had, it would stop explosions from coming through. Making an actual, major war, impossible to do.
If we leave negotiations to narcissists, all we get is war. We need to recognize that, and recognize narcissists.
This is important, because we really want peace.