I had a little trip off on this a few days ago, so I am finding it interesting to write on this topic. ecoTrain Question Of The Week Season 6 #3 - COMMUNE-ICATION
Communication is so much important in maintaining relationships. And it is equally difficult sometimes to put your point across in the most pleasant way as possible.
A face to face communication is not as much of a challenge compared to online conversations. These are the ones that sometimes also create a lot of misunderstanding, because it is difficult for the person to understand the tone and body language.
Just for e.g. I am very direct in my communication, whatever is in my heart I express it and sometimes it's not good for me because I cannot contain any type of hypocrisy within me so I express myself very clearly to the opposite person. But if the person is face to face, will understand that I have no intention of putting down or being harsh, because though my message is tough my tone has softness, and my body language is positive, so the opposite person takes it in a positive stride, but when the person is not face to face, they will never understand my tone and body language and go on the face value of what is being communicated. So I prefer to talk it out when I want to give hard messages to someone.
I do believe in Non Violent communication, but at the same time I also believe in expressing it out clearly. I do not wish to bury anything in my hurt and then in turn keep sulking or thinking about it. And some people do need those hard messages. What I am against is using abusive language.
I do not believe in taking any injustice to portray myself nice, because that's not what I am. Nasty with nasty people, and I do not shy off to put my point across clearly or keep quiet, then be it whoever. Respectful communication is desired to be done with everyone, and yes we do not stoop down with others but at the same time we also do not accept crap from others, this is my philosophy.
At large I have seen that people who are hesitant to put their point across and cannot communicate effectively are big time sulkers. They keep the issues within them and then keep brooding over them feeling helpless. Rather when we make clear communication with people and sort out our differences it eventually ends up in better relationships. But not communicating builds up bitterness.
Life is short, we need to stop stressing on ourselves with who said what and why. Everyone also has a mood for the day, sometimes if some one is nasty to me and if that is very unusual of the person, I give the person a benefit of doubt, rationalizing that the person may just be going through a rough day. We do not always need to create drama of everything. Most of the people stress out themselves over these petty things.
Sometimes when me and hubby have a fight, it is normally me....hehehe, the next moment after the fight I am completely normal, but he is sitting with a big face, and then I again shouting at him saying, fight is over so why does ne need to sulk now :-)
Just see like today I am in a very good mood and it will reflect somewhere in my way of writing this post, if I would had been in a foul mood, probably the way I would put this across would be different.
I have made it a habit of not giving immediate responses, filter, filter, filter and then see what is the most necessary to communicate, but to be very very honest, I do fail in this sometimes. There are times when I give out instant reaction, specially when I feel there is an injustice happened. Then I also realize it was not necessary.
At this point of time the stress levels are high, mood swings are too much so it all the more becomes important to give a thought on the opposite person reaction if it is not normal then usual. We all have our breaking points and we behave irrationally in those moments, but we should not crucify the person for that and neither should we stress out ourselves on that.
Let Go.....Let Go......Let Go..... the only key to happy and carefree living
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