ecoTrain QOTW: Season 7 #1 - "What if a Genie Gave You the Chance To Reinvent Yourself?"

I am a deep believer that all the experiences, people, choices and circumstances in our lives made us who we are today. If we would change just one small thing from our past, there is a great possibility that the course of our life would change or we wouldn't learn the lessons we were suppose to learn from that experience. I think a lot of us has at least one person "we wish we never met" but again, even if the connections with that person was not good, there is a lesson behind it. If we approach both good and bad things we went through with gratitude and use it for our own growth and self-development, it is a lot easier to approach life with a more positive attitude and move on from things that could hold us back.

Thinking about this question, I don't think I would change any experience, people I've met, not even the bad choices I've made because those were my biggest lessons in life. I would go inwards and change a few things about myself that I didn't care about in the past but slowly turned into a rabbit hole I'm still stuck in. I am talking about my lack of self-discipline and direction in life. Looking back now, I think it all started in high-school, where I would study when I feel like studying, get good grades, do my homework and be a responsible student, but soon I would get "tired of it", have zero interest in doing even the basics, get bad grades and it was just an endless cycle that continued even in University causing me to drop the University just before the end and never actually finishing it. If I had even just a little bit of self-discipline and pushed through those "bad cycles" with more effort, I think I wouldn't become the person who only does things when they feel like it. I mentioned this a lot of times but I think I never had balance in any aspect of my life and I would always go to the extreme opposites. I wish I just learned to be more consistent and balanced in those times when we kind of shape ourselves as human beings and slowly learn how to take responsibilities for ourselves as teenagers/young adults.

Adding anxiety and a lot of fears to this doesn't help at all so that's also probably something I would change about myself with the help of a Genie. I managed to get over some of the things that in the past just thinking about them would almost give me a panic attack and now are normal parts of my life so much I hardly ever remember how I used to feel about them. There's a lot more improvement to be made especially when it comes to my social anxiety but I am happy and so grateful that I managed to face some of my fears and anxious episodes. I think that we really do learn and grow as human being our entire life and it's never too late to make a change but a lot of times it can feel too hard to make a change. I am aware of the rabbit hole I'm still in, I guess I got comfortable here and even though I want to move away from it, it always feels like I fall right back into it. It not easy to admit this but writing this post was healing in a way and opening up about these things help a lot.