“Failure doesn’t exist, I don’t think it’s real”
These were the exact words my little sister who is just 15 years told me right after I read the second prompt to her. I was actually shocked not because of her age but she said the exact things on my mind.
Growing up, our mom never allowed us to say things like “I can’t do it”, “this is impossible”. It’s two things, you either say it and then next minute, you are experiencing all sorts of slaps, slippers and knocks or you do it and not get the desired results. Even after you don’t get the desired results, you’ll be asked to do it over and over again till you get it.
I strongly believe this has transcended into our lives. I have come to realize it’s very normal for you not to get the desired results or what many people call failure. To me, failure is just a word until you give meaning to it and the great part is that you’re solely responsible for how you define it.
Just like what my little sister said, I believe failure doesn’t exist, it’s not real. I have defined failure as a “phase” and since I know it’s just a phase, when I encounter it, I try my best to figure out things in any way possible to leave that phase.
That one thing which has helped so much is my mindset. I have one of the optimistic mindsets I’ve ever seen. Anytime something does not turn out the right way, I just make up things for it and think positive. It could probably be that I deserved better that’s why this one didn’t workout so I’m going to try again.
When I am trying again, that phase becomes a “signaling phase”. It gives me all the signals I need and briefs me about the mistakes I made. I end up knowing better than before which means better efforts when trying again. With this, there’s nothing like I wasted my time in case it doesn’t work out. If not for anything, I know all in all, I’ve learned something in life.
Another thing I do is to give myself Grace and acknowledge my efforts. When I’m in that phase where all that I’m working on aren’t coming along as they should, I just remind myself that before everything else, I am human. I’m not perfect. I also try to remind myself I’ve accomplished a lot over the years and whatever I’m trying to do at that moment is so little that it can’t even be compared to my greater works in the past. That alone is enough to get me through that phase.
There’s nothing wrong with not succeeding at something, not getting the results you dreamed of or not achieving that goal you set. The problem comes in when you eventually believe that you are incapable of achieving that goal just because it didn’t work the first or second time.
That’s when failure becomes real. Life is a lot to process and we need to give ourselves enough grace sometimes. If you give up in the second half just because you didn’t score in the first half, then there’s no point being there. Give yourself enough credit for even being present in the first half. Just take your time, re-strategize and take that shot again.
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