The single mothers I'm talking of in this post are those that got married but ended up getting a divorce or those that lost their husbands after the early stage of their marriage.
Being a single mother in an African country especially Nigeria is kind of taboo. Many women have faced death and others lived in misery to give their children that family feeling of growing up with their mother and father.
However, civilization came in and some women are standing up to speak for themselves and fighting back against men who treat them as trash with the presence of human rights. Though, some women still hold on to living their life in pain because they are scared of what society will say. It hurts seeing these helpless women.
I have come into contact with single mothers and I am a feminist to an extent. I don't take it lightly seeing women get trampled on by men which made me glad when one of my aunts fought back when her husband maltreated her.
It was my first time knowing and meeting her in the year 2018 and I stayed with her for a while. During my stay, I got to know her and became her gist partner.
Her parents died when she was young which prompted her to stay with her mother's sister who trained her before she got married.
After a few years of being married and having a baby, her husband started a war with her. He started cheating on her and didn't take care of her. He won't allow her to work and kept malice with her. He also did all sorts of things that made her make her mind up to leave. She was with a child, a daughter when she left her husband.
Some families didn't support her movement from her husband's home but she never answered them. They tried talking her out of it, reminding her no single man will want to get married to a single mother unless she is aiming on destroying another woman's home by getting married to a married man who will likely marry her.
Many words were said still, she held onto her stance and got a single room where she stayed with her baby. Things were tough for her at the beginning being a nursing mother but she was resilient and edge on all alone with no help.
Thankfully she is a nurse and she started using that to make way for herself and thankfully things started yielding for her.
For some years, she kept to herself and worked endlessly while taking care of her baby. Her baby went to the best school and she had never gone out without getting different things for her baby when she came back. Her relationship with her child is beautiful and worth taking note of.
I admired her resilience in facing troubles that brewed up with her baby getting sick and having dreams when she would wake up and say she hates her mother.
When this occurrence continued, she had a dream that it was her ex-husband and her ex-husband's people that wanted to frustrate her into coming back. But my Auntie did not back down. With prayers, we were able to overcome the troubles, and the storm was calmed.
Despite the pains she went through, she never gave up. And as faith would have it, she got married to a single guy who adores and cares for her, and she bore him a child, another daughter.
Her husband appreciates and respects her so much that people who don't know them never knew he wasn't the one that birthed her first child.
To every single mother out there;
"I know the journey might look tough from the start but there is always a rainbow after the heavy weather..
If you are with a man who doesn't value you and doesn't want to work things out, leave with your child(ren) for your peace.
Make plans to survive if he doesn't perform his fatherly duty and always look good for yourself. Be happy and do not listen to the whispers of society.
Go out with your child(ren) and take nice/fun pictures. Don't forget you are valued and loved by people who see "You".
It isn't easy carrying the task alone but you can do it because you are a "Woman". You always have the strength and the ability to carry on as you are a warrior, a hero, an entrepreneur, and more.
This is my response to @merit.ahama topic on Ladiesofhive contest.
Still yours truly,
Balikis.
Thanks for reading.
Peace be unto those who crave it and more to those who chase it away.