Is it strange for me to confess that I never really felt beautiful? And I say this because, coldly analyzing it, we women are not really taught from our upbringing to build the concept of beauty, properly speaking. In fact, and I hope you leave your opinions and we can have a nice debate, what we are taught is to be "ladies". Oh, that concept without definition.... I say it this way, because I have been tired of asking it and I never get the same answer more than once...
So, starting from that irregularity and the division of concepts, I can tell you that growing up as a woman and building a really authentic image is not easy at all. And perhaps, for the girls who read me in this community, this is not a surprise. I am convinced that in one way or another, you feel involved; but good luck explaining this to some men. And I say well, "some"; because I was of the idea that: "they were all equal". I radicalized my position based on what I believed to be true; always a mistake.
Now then, from a purely aesthetic point of view, what is it that mortifies us? Many things: stretch marks, cellulite, not looking like Sascha Fitness or Dua Lipa. We always have to be beautiful, well-groomed, flawless and perfect, but for whom? But for whom, and more importantly, where does this obsession/necessity come from? It took me, as I said at the beginning of this post, more years than I can calculate to arrive at an approximation of the truth.... And I consider that the root lies in machismo. Yes, girls, just as you read it. What is not so revealing about what I say is how it arises....
You see, the women who came before us are the mold we look to as infants. Put another way, we replicate much of what we naturalize in our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, older sisters, cousins, etc. It is for this reason, that concepts diametrically opposed to what a "good lady" should be, are related to eroticism, lust and vanity? And let's be frank, my friends, aren't we all? I mean, isn't it usual in our nature to fan the fire that gives meaning to what I have mentioned as "negative"?
It systematically censures us. And yes, our own moral authority figures and training (mothers, grandmothers, aunts, cousins) are the ones who repress our integrity as a being. Self-love and the normalization of concepts, which then, only generates in us a duality that almost always derives in guilt.... "Am I beautiful, beautiful enough, desirable enough?" It is almost never "I am beautiful, and of course I look divine!". And if for some reason we express the latter, it is almost always frowned upon by our own gender; despite the regrets....
Intelligence, to me, is the key. But as with character and experiences, it is built. There is always talent and ability, but it also requires courage, which, surprise! is not cultivated in us since we were girls. For this reason, it is not unusual that the vast majority of us are, or choose to be, passive.... A highly socially and romantically accepted characteristic that historically has not brought too many benefits to women.
So, are self-esteem, self-love, eroticism and intelligence really essential for a woman in the 21st century? I think they always have been, actually. The problem is that it used to be easier said than done. This century has given us the opportunity we never had in our lives. To be equal, to fight to defend our position and to normalize what the concept of woman means. Which, I can tell you right now, is freedom, diversity, love and strength. I'm not the one to say anything, I'm just a girl who knows which path to choose...
We are in October, in the pink month, for the fight against breast cancer and the importance of femininity. This post is inspired by that premise. Thanks for reading, and if you liked it, please leave a comment. P.S: The pictures are mine.