Smart women in this community @ladiesofhive, have a fantastic day! I am delighted to join this incredible contest. Thanks to @merit.ahama for this initiative.
I'm going to share with you on my journey as a mother of a physically and intellectually challenged son with scoliosis
A single parent's life can be entirely a formidable job. One must be a solid role model to be both a mother and a father 24/7. There may or may not always be financial aid that is required, such as child care. All of the family duties lie on your shoulders. While single parenting can be a tough duty, the benefits greatly outweigh the challenges.
My youngest child, CJ, unexpectedly came out of this world at seven (7) months of age, a premature baby. He was incubated as he acquired sepsis and his life was at stake (an infection of the blood). Blood was caught sight of in his tiny mouth at the time he was incubated as he squirted and his colour turned to ash. I went around when he was put on first aid, I sat on the stairs, burst into tears, and whispered a prayer telling God that "I AM LETTING HIM GO" I heard CJ bursting into tears right after reciting my appeal to Heaven! I looked back and saw the face of my baby turning pink as he blubbered out loud, the doctor patted my back and whispered, "He's a blessing from God to you." Almost all the doctors in the hospital who knew me, primarily my son's doctor would wink at me saying that I am WONDER WOMAN (how I wish I am but I hold to it!). That's the beginning of my journey with my son...
I have opted to work from home so I can juggle my time writing and taking intimate supervision of my son. Connecting with my intellectually and physically challenged son is my joyful moment to have him enthralled with my funny punchlines respectively. I love to be observant of his chuckle and to make him grin. He smooches and embraces me, his way of demonstrating his fondness and gratefulness, and his manner of sharing his appreciation for the time we devoured together. Honestly, because he can not speak, it bleeds my heart, but with his loving gestures, I appreciate that he can figure out what I am speaking to him. It is still my remarkable contentment to see him gladden. That's why, every day after my house duties, online work, and crochet (which I earn apart from online work), I still create time to be with him alone.
Being a single mom is not a parody especially when you have a CHILD with SPECIAL NEEDS (Epileptic Cerebral Palsy with Scoliosis). Usually, my day starts with my son CJ. My morning runs smoothly when he is still dozing or even when he is open-eyed, he must be in good spirits and simply playing alone and waiting for his meal to be attended to. At times he would get up a little late in chilly weather, conducive to a relaxed ambience for him to doze longer.
I have grown and evolved more than at any previous moment in my life shortly after the arrival of my son. I regain perspective and discover events that I would have missed if I hadn't been so preoccupied... I start to live with change, admit that I was inappropriate to judge, and realize the existence of unreserved affection. Motherhood and womanhood moulded my entire existence. Witnessing an infant comes to light coming from within and nurturing him to be self-sustaining is both a gift and an adventure along with my other accomplishments, has shaped who I am now. Being a parent should be treated as such, not as a secondary concern or a "bonus," but as a core idea closest to which other interests revolve.
Every day my son inspires me never to give up. I know that he knows he's special. Every time I see him having a tough time, I feel sad to see that he is helpless. I don't know what to do without my son. My life has changed. If I hadn't grown up with him, I would have had less empathy, less compassion, and less sympathy for others. He teaches me that everyone should do anything.
The way I raise a physically and intellectually challenged child is determined by my family's particular child-rearing needs and preferences, my child's age, and the nature of his disability. It's essential to keep in mind that the majority of usual child-rearing plights will be undertaken. Children with comorbidities go through the stages of childhood simply like everyone else. They do not partake in the same period, progress at the same rate, or speak the same lingo as children without disabilities, but they are nevertheless children, and children will continue to be children.
Single mother with special needs does not negate the attributes of a single sort of parenting. The intricacies of the medical condition of my child, the ever-evolving dilemmas he faces, and the hurdles of portions of data I ought to comprehend, and I demand to identify and make a manner unique to parenting necessities.
Parenting for special needs is a tightrope walk I'm constantly persevering to discover. I agree that when it comes to the wellness and interest of my son, there is no leeway for blunders. As a mother, I'd like it to be more manageable than the one that acquires discomfort than looking after my child in misery—it bleeds my spirit. Many threats will steer me to the threshold and it overshadows my day. I always encounter the constant battle with the condition of my son and even contemplate giving up, but the love of God dominates and will always flourish in my heart. I hold the FAITH till the fulfilment of toils and conflicts.
It is through these “thriving hurts” I venture when keeping up on these transformations that I honestly evolve the resilience, discernment, and boldness I ought to keep going on life’s journey. I am appreciative of sealed gates, detours, and roadblocks. They shield me from channels and dwellings not meant for me.
Advice To Single Moms With Special Needs Child:
Associate with other single parents who have kids with special needs. Chatting with other people who understand what you are getting through can alleviate you feel pleasingly about your own life. There are so many ways to speak with other parents. Lots of parents are now utilizing social media to get together and support each other online. To locate online groups, you can check out within your preferred social media medium (Facebook, Instagram, etc.). You may encounter some groups that are for a specific diagnosis, and some that are for the total scope of disabilities. No matter how you pick to find support, other parents can be your best assistance. Groups are a remarkable manner to share your ventures with other parents, hear them, and exchange reinforcement and advice along the way. You may also join the PWD (Person With Disability Association)
Have a "ME" time. As a single mom, this is the most essential thing, but also may come off like it is out of reach. Try to provide yourself some moment to do something just for you. This time can put on the fuel you need. Always find time for yourself like seeing a friend and have dinner, go shopping, write a poem, have some time strolling along the beach, watch movie with a friend and the likes.
Knowing that you are hurting
Uttering a word you cannot do
A wail of anguish is an outlet
And sometimes a self-inflict
You have had enough of suffering
Since the time you have seen the light
Holding and squeezing my hand
Pulling me close to you
You kiss and hug me tight
Meeting your gaze, I saw tears in your eyes
I took great pain to hide my feelings
I can cry endlessly and be numb
But seeing you helpless I am incapable
At times, I beg God to end your miseries
Returning home to Him will stop your agony
Whereas seeing you grieving...
Original Poetry by @diosarich
Thanks for reading.
Godspeed,
@diosarich