“The act of waitressing is a solace, it's got everything you could ask for - confusion, panic, humility, and food.” ― Eve Babitz
I started my restaurant career as a meek 19 year old. I had just left an abusive relationship, where I was forced away from my friendly nature and self-expression. I would soon get a crash course on summoning a bright personality in odd circumstances, which would help heal a year of damage in time.
I took this 2Edgy4U photo around the time I started waiting tables. I find it really cringey now, but back then this was an expression of how I felt inside, like I didn't have a voice. We can laugh at me together.
No one likes a Whiner
Chances are, they have some jerk at one of their tables turning their night into an acting challenge. Oh your well done steak is dry?! I have never in my life experienced something as important as this, let me gush out an apology. Now I can take your plate back to the kitchen, where they will surely ask why I brought it back- it's a perfectly temped welldone. They cook you a medium well, and when you bring it out to the guest, they let you know you finally got it right, (you dum dum). Things like this highlight the social contracts we have as people, which I quickly alcimated to.
This photo is about 6 months after the last, I'm making a weird face, but I look happy! I've gotten past my whiney phase at this point, and I'm having a blast rediscovering myself! My financial situation is stable for the first time ever, and I'm learning so much about life.
My next lesson would take me many years to really understand, but it's benefits began to show up once I opened the door. The time had come to address some situations that I had found myself in over the last several years. I was always letting people walk all over me, and that had really inhibited my success in life. It was time to drop my childlike view of the world.
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“A man that is a friend to everyone is an enemy to himself.” – Mike Tyson
Not everyone is your Friend
This ushered in a new age for me, as I learned new words like "No" and "Stop". I started to seek friendships that reciprocated my efforts. I didn't allow people to eat my time or my resources up anymore, after lots of practice. Once again restaurant life had a syllabus ready on the subject. I honed my skills with flirty patrons, drunk drama llamas, and frisky line cooks. I learned how to set boundaries, finally. Best of all, I got paid doing it!
A photo taken on a beach in Florida. These were the times! I shaved my head about a month beforehand, and it's growing back in. I'm in the thick of a "break year" from dating here, and very much enjoying my "impress no one" outlook. I believe I am 25 in this photo.
There was a big change in me around the time the above photo was taken! I had spent years in the trenches of weekend rushes, experiencing some of the best AND worst teamwork ever. Holding together in the coursing tides of managerial demands, which became a riptide where it met picky customers, we struggled through united. Shift quarrels were lost in too many drinks after work, the things that pissed us off becoming funny. If you've worked in restaurants, I'm sure you know just what I mean! Still, I wasn't done learning quite yet!
Here I'm 28, and I'm reaping huge benefits from my final, but most important lesson! At last, I had grasped a concept that would change my life! Side note, isn't it insane how fast my hair grew back?!
“Content is King but engagement is Queen, and the lady rules the house!” – Mari Smith
Several years into my serving career, I hit a wall that many good servers hit eventually. I was just as fast and efficient as the best of my fellows, I certainly was just as friendly... so why were some of them making 100 bucks more than me on a friday night?
Market Your Skills!
This realization has carried me so far in life! I have led successful fundraisers, and drawn investors to my projects. I have networked my way into fancy events, and inspired people to get involved in whatever my current goal is. Marketing yourself seems hard at first, but eventually it is second nature in a conversation. You never know what opportunities are waiting for you!
Thank you for reading along! It was wild to go back and find old photos of myself, definitely a trip down memory lane!
If you have a service industry background as well, I'd love to hear something you've learned in the comments!
I want to give a shout out to @yaziris who wrote an amazing post about HTML that I utilized to make this, it can be found here