Even though I don't feel like writing on Hive anymore, I have been doing better. So, today, instead of writing a sad post, I am going to write about what I have been doing lately and what kept me busy in the past few weeks. This year, I haven't planned any trips yet, but that doesn't mean I am going to stay at home. I still go to therapy sessions and work on my traumas and depression, but I also do things and activities that I wasn't able to do for a certain period of time. Am I happy? Yes, I feel happy, and I am more positive about myself. I started accepting the facts based on the present, and I am more understanding about the circumstances. I started focusing on more positive energy than negative energy and had a higher tolerance level than before. I sometimes feel like I am a freshly bloomed flower that just started flourishing and exploring a new life. Recently, due to a crucial incident, my life turned over ups and downs, but I learned how to not put pressure on myself. Obviously, I still face the effects of the intense situations, I try not to pressure and push myself. Besides, I started focusing more on my well-being than in the past.
A few weeks ago, I was in Leiden and found a port area while walking around. Leiden is truly a beautiful city in the Netherlands, but for me, that specific location is definitely an important spot in the entire city.
I guess harbor word would be more suitable than the port area because it was small. There was a bench for sitting, which you can't see in the photo. Those Hivers who know me personally know that I am a chain smoker, and when I am stressed or thinking about something, I smoke a lot. Anyway, when I was there in this area, I was a bit stressed, so I sat down to smoke. While smoking and looking at the view, I got the chance to reflect on myself and had a lot of realizations. Well, I won't say everything was okay after that but my nervous system was much more calmer than before being there. Those who have anxiety issues or overthinking problems might be able to relate to my thoughts. For an individual dealing with stress, music, smoke, and the surrounding atmosphere have a lot of influence. I can't remember for how long I was sitting there in the middle of misty rainfall, but it was long enough to calm my nerves.
What I did later doesn't matter, to be honest...But I am gonna share some photographs...
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I love walking without noticing any key features sometimes. It feels good to be a lone walker sometimes to clear my head. That's why sometimes I don't remember significant information about a place or historical monuments or landmarks. I can't retain core information in my memory; I would rather be an unknown, clueless explorer.
Anyway, last week was my birthday week. I normally don't like to celebrate my birthday anymore but this time I decided to do something casual and to treat myself with flowers and nice meal. It's basic and many people like to celebrate basic birthday celebration nowadays. But for me, wearing good clothes, feeling feminine vibes, and looking beautiful was a challenge since I kind of struggle doing such things lately. So, it was nice to see myself in a nice outfit rather than daily wear. It felt nice and good and also motivated me to I can do better.
Those who wanted to see Gigi, this part of the post is for you. The positive response that I received on my last post made me take some photographs of my dog that are worthy to post. Gigi is a difficult dog when it comes to taking photos. She knows when I am going to take her photos, and no matter how many tricks I adopt to lure her, she never likes the camera when we are outside. So, taking photos while being outside is itself a challenge.
She is a full-grown, beautiful labrador now, and no matter how naughty she is, her innocent puppy face always melts my heart. She is not a puppy anymore, but to me, she is still a puppy. She takes advantage of me, but she is a giver as well. I follow a strict routine for her and try to keep her healthy. So far, she is doing amazing, and I just hope she stays healthy...
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Lately, I became a fan of anime series and movies. I spent my lazy time watching anime. It's like exploring a whole new world. The one anime that amazed me was "Grave of the Fireflies"- a 1988 war drama. This drama actually gave me a lot of insights about life and made me realize once again the value of my life and being alive. Also, the recent Netflix mini-drama series Adolescence is also worth mentioning. Somehow, my taste in selecting movies and series changed, and I am more into deep, dark movies and series. Knowing that all drama/web series are not for me yet, considering my mental health, I just can't resist myself watching very deep, dark genre movies and series, unfortunately.
Spring arrived, and Sakura has bloomed at the nearby park. Every day, I look at these trees and take a moment to appreciate their beauty, knowing they won't last long. They are beautiful to look at. Many people take photos of them. I am just lucky to watch them every day.
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I still have difficulties, and I still see bad days, but somehow, I am learning a mechanism for how to cope with the emotions. I let them flow slowly. I am very quiet now, but this calmness is for the best, I guess. I am giving myself time and priorities; other things can wait.
The birthday roses are still in the vase, bright and beautiful. Always reminding me that I am worthy to be happy...
Love
Priyan...
I am @priyanarc.... An architect, a dreamer, and a passionate writer who loves to write about life. I try to present my own perspective and experiences. Please leave your feedback and criticism because it's the only way I can know and reach your mind and thoughts easily...
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