When was the first time you said, “I love you” to someone other than your family? And tell us what your love language is?
This question transported me back in time to 2017, basically one of the best years in my life. It's funny how memory works. How it selects which events to vividly recall and how it blurs out some other events. I'm glad that I have and can recall the memory of my first love and the moments we shared. Even though these memories are often tinged with nostalgia.
I was fourteen when I got to understand the concept of love. I fell in love with a boy I attended church with. It was unintentional. It was unplanned. This moment, we were just church members and we rarely spoke and the next moment, we were irrevocably in love with each other. My family and his family had close ties because we hailed from the same state and tribe. Though our families were close, we never really spoke because well, we were shy teenagers and we thought we didn't have much in common. But, an event brought us together. It was like the universe had decided to intertwine our fates together.
It was his sister's wedding and I and my brother had to go stay at their home for three days to help with preparations. It was the best three days of my life. There, I got to truly know him and see him. For the first time, i could take in his features without sneaking peeks or glazing my eyes over. My first love had the most beautiful eyes ever. His eyes always twinkled and his smile was the kind that tugged at your heart, just the way it crooked at one corner. The first of his features I fell in love with were his eyes and his smile. Then we got to talking, and we bonded over Ludo and Chess and music. Our favorite show then was Top Ten U.S songs on MTV Base and our shared favorite artist was The Weekend. Our shared favorite song was Blinding Lights by The Weekend. Safe to say, he introduced me to Weekend’s songs and made him my favorite artiste till date.
My first love was thoughtful, shy, reserved, funny and everything good. I was truly in love with him, by then. I knew it because when it was time for me to leave, I didn't want to go. None of us had confessed our feelings for each other by then, so I wasn't sure if he felt the same way for me. But when I was leaving, we exchanged contacts and the first message I received when I got home was from him. The content of his message would forever be ingrained in my heart, but in that text, he confessed his feelings and told me he loved me and for the first time ever, I was telling someone other than my family, that I loved him back.
That sparked the acknowledged beginning of our love journey, though it had started way before then. We had to love each other in secret, text and call in secret because if we were ever caught by our parents, we would be in a lot of trouble. It was all about sneak peeks that were full of longing and yearning to be open and unabashed with loving each other, but the fear of our African parents was greater. When I tell people about it or reminisce about it, I am constantly reminded that we were kids and we knew nothing about true love. But I am staunch in my belief that what we had was true love. Because it was innocent and devoid of attached strings and benefits. It was unconditional and full of understanding, adoration and positivity. I have not experienced something like that since then. So, I know it was true love. Though life has driven us apart, I still remember him fondly and I still adore him.
My love languages are words of affirmation and thoughtfulness. There are times when I am not nice to myself; times when I don't even believe in myself and in those times, I think having a partner who is all about raising your spirits, hyping you and driving you to be more is essential. I love hearing words that makes me feel positive about myself, especially when it is coming from a place of love. It makes me want to be better and it makes me better. It's one of the first things that catches my attention whenever I meet prospective lovers. Are they positive? Do they bring positive vibes? Do they emit aura of positivity? Do they care enough to lift their lovers out of dark places by giving compliments and speaking words of affirmation?
My second love language is thoughtful acts of service. Actions mean more to me when they are done from a place of thought. I tend to cherish and adore them more. When your partner gets you something because they think you will like it or when he just does things because they know that you need them to be done for you. When your partner acknowledges your desires, likes and dislikes and preferences and they work and act in alignment with them. Actions like this means a lot to me and it's how I love Love to be expressed to me.
Thanks for reading.✨
Images and screenshots are mine