Although it is largely meant facetiously — as a reference to ADHD — I often tell people that I suffer from "Too Many Interests Syndrome."
I suppose it's harmless enough, but one of the upshots tends to be that I virtually never truly get into anything... at least not with the passion and dedication of those who have one thing on their plate and who subsequently end up rather expert at whatever that "thing" might be.
Periodically, I lay out all my interests on the table (figuratively speaking), dust them off and take stock. Which often ends with my revisiting why I thought something was really amazing... followed by lamentations over the fact that I haven't had any time to apply myself to them.
A momentary sidetrack: I remember overhearing a discussion between two friends, in which one was amazed that the other was able to go into a shop, see something they REALLY liked, and be content with simply seeing it and knowing it existed, without any desire to OWN it.
As I look back across my life, I realize that my periodic feelings of overwhelm and "stuck-ness" can be attributed to the fact that I see so many things come into my awareness, and I think "I could do something with that!" and end up adding it to my many interests... where it ends up just being "stored," because I don't actually have the time to take it on.
Maybe I am an "Interest Hoarder!"
I realize that part of this tendency likely has its roots in the fear of letting an opportunity slip by. Which, in turn, has its roots in the fact that I have spent the last 40 years — maybe more — trying to "monetize my life," all in service of not having to have a "real" structured job at an actual place of employment.
But the dark side of Too Many Interests is that you often end up with a sort of "emotional clutter" that gets in the way of moving forward, and even of doing ANYthing. So you feel stuck, and burdened down with the "weight" of what you are trying to carry around.
When we think of Hoarders, we tend to think of those who obsessively accumulate physical stuff to excess, to the point that the stuff becomes like an anchor chain around their necks. Emotional hoarding is not a whole lot different, in that you're still dealing with this "weight" that always feels like it is getting in the way.
But that's not just a feeling; researchers typically agree that we really aren't capable of effectively keeping track of more than seven things. Before you protest too much and start listing exceptions, I point you back to the word "effectively."
As Mrs. Denmarkguy and I continue to "downsize" in expectation of moving to a much smaller home within a year or so, I actually find myself feeling relieved to let go of the "project ideas" that it's quite clear I will never get around to.
It's not that they are bad ideas/interests, it's just that reality keeps pounding on my head to remind me that I never got beyond the initial set-up of "this great idea" and that... and I likely never will.
Meanwhile, a sort of strange guilt floats around in my peripheral vision, distracting me from truly focusing on what is right in front of me... as a result of which I am not nearly as effective as I might like to be.
In retrospect, it is sort of ironic that I find myself having these thoughts. As an 18-year old just leaving home, my primary aspiration was minimalism and I aspired to have much cleaner and less cluttered/overwhelming life and home than I grew up in.
And yet, here I am, a few weeks short of my 65th birthday, just trying to let go of all these perfectly good ideas I've been storing for all these years, because "one day I'll get around to them!"
No. No, I will not.
Particularly not since it is unlikely I will even be able to actually retire, and have all that proverbial "extra time" on my hands.
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great remainder of your Sunday!
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Created at 2025.08.03 12:20 PST
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