I had an idea to do a little series of posts about things I've learned and applied to my personal and professional life. I'll keep these posts quite short but hope someone reads something they can fit into their own life of they can use to good effect.
This is the second post about effective negotiation techniques I've learned and used for many years. If you would like to, you can see the first "negotiation" post here which introduced the first two techniques.
Negotiation - Tactical empathy and "No instead of yes"
Tactical empathy
Sneaky? Yes it's a little bit sneaky but that doesn't mean bad; it's a negotiation you're seeking to win or, at the least gain from in some way, so why not use all the available tools?
Tactical empathy involves agreeing with the other person's perspective or point of view even when you disagree with it.
This disarms the other person, can take them by surprise in a good way and builds further trust which will mean they (usually) become more pliable - they feel understood and that's often comforting to them. This all means the path towards more productive problem-solving and results is cleared and the entire process is smoother. It's not about attaining a win-loss result, it's about a win-win.
You: Of course, I totally get how you could see their promotion over yours as unfair and I understand how upsetting it could be for you, I'd feel the same way.
The have confirmation that "others" may feel the same way and it's ok for them to feel like they do, that there's empathy and understanding and some care factor and synergy. At that stage, or after this is done a few times, they often loosen/soften up and feel some trust and the negotiation will go more smoothly.
No instead of yes:
People saying "yes" doesn't always correlate to them actually meaning yes; they could be saying it as a deflection, a diversionary tactic to shift the pressure you're applying. They may completely disagree, but still say yes...so get them to say no instead.
Saying no makes people feel less pressure in many cases and with less pressure (and other techniques applied) they're far more likely to say yes later and actually mean it, to get on board with the program. This technique is sometimes difficult to use well (and deploy in the right moment) but if used correctly it comes with immense benefit.
You [don't say]: Are you ready to launch the project to your team?
You [say this instead]: Have you completely given up on this project?
This example is specific, but a good example. I've used this exact thing and the team member (a lower level leader) said a firm "no!" Ok great. We went on to discover the other roadblocks from that point as we'd established the chap was "on board", ready to lead and do what's required to deploy. It was a good win-win result.
I've got a few more to share down the track but wonder what your thoughts are on these ones.
Have you used them or do you recall these techniques being used on you? If so and you want to comment please go ahead in the comments below.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
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Image(s) in this post are my own