The expectations they have of me are not up to me.
Why is it such a problem to live under the expectation of others?
That's a question I've asked myself many times: why would it be a problem for people to have so much expectation of you?
But for that I would have to talk a little bit about myself.
Mariangel, younger sister, two siblings: 1 an accountant and the other in 5th semester of business administration.
Good students and good people, the pride of any mother (and mine too).
Obviously, they set the bar high enough so that everyone around you leaves a weight on you, a weight on your shoulders.
But that weight is not yours.
Perhaps this is a reflection for you, but more so for me.
And now I can answer that question....
It becomes a problem when that weight on your shoulders becomes unsustainable, when you stop doing the things you want to do to please others, and especially when you start to be afraid of failure.
A fear so great that it makes you want to stop living experiences for fear that your own family will judge you.
And that fear only makes you make more and more mistakes.
Imagine being afraid of failure; it's like being afraid of living. Being afraid of the night and missing a night sky bathed in stars, being afraid of the ocean and not being able to enjoy what the sea has to offer? And in case you haven't understood it, the fear of failure deprives us of valuable experiences, of the opportunity to grow and to grow.
And in case you haven't understood, fear of failure deprives us of valuable experiences, of the opportunity to grow. It's like letting a shadow obscure the light of our possibilities. If we avoid risk, we become trapped in a comfort zone that, while familiar, can be limiting. At one point in your life you fail to identify the problem; you just think you have a family that is a bit controlling, but that's normal. But one day you come to reality: you leave the bubble that they created for you consciously or unconsciously and you realize that you are a person with a complete loss of identity, unable to make your own decisions. You just have a great feeling of inadequacy and constant pressure because nothing is enough.
And in adulthood I could put a long list of areas of your life that are affected because of this pattern of behavior. But the important thing is to recognize, to acknowledge that there is a problem; that beyond just having a controlling family, there is a real problem that is affecting you. Many times it is not even our families; it is ourselves who have this human need to relax and compare ourselves especially with our siblings, when the reality is that each person is unique and goes at his or her own pace; each being is different and that is okay.
You should never compare your process with others because everyone learns at their own pace. Failing, growing, maturing and learning are all part of the process and also what will lead you to achieve your goals, along with discipline of course. So today release yourself from those expectations, from those weights about what your family thinks or believes about you. It is not your responsibility what they want to think of you; it is not your burden. You will make your own mistakes, not anyone else's. Have the free will to experience what you want in life. Be free: free of burdens, free of guilt.
You will make your own mistakes, not anyone else's. Have the free will to experience what you want in life. Be free: free of burdens, free of guilt.
And if you stayed until the end, thank you for reading a little bit of my heart.
