Photo by Hutomo Abrianto on Unsplash
Paano i save ang tumatabang na relasyon?
Tumatabang naba ang Love Life mo? May Kapartner ka naman pero para ka ding mag isa at malungkot? Kung nasa ganyang stage ka ng relationship ngayon at dimo alam ang gagawin, ito ang ilan sa mga tips para magka chance naman na uminit ulit ang love life mo.
Wala naman talagang expert sa Love life, at diko din naman sasabihing expert ako sa love life, nag kataon lang na may mga experiences ako na tingin ko ay pwede kong i share kung na makakatulong kung sakaling nasa parehong sitwasyon din kayo.
Madami sa mga cold na relationship ang nauuwi sa failed relationship dahil napabayaan, yung iba naman ini isip nila na normal na dumadating ito sa mga relasyon, na eventually nag kakasawaan ang mag kaka partner. Kung yun ang pananaw mo, edi parang sinabi mo na din na OK lang makahanap sa future ng bagong kapartner, na parang pag sawa kana sa isang bagay, kahit buo pa naman eh palitan mo na ng iba.
Pero bago natin alamin ang posibleng solusyon, alamin muna natin ang signs ng isang struggling na relationship.
Kulang na sa Communication
Kung dati palagi kayo nag kwekwentuhan at na e enjoy nyo talaga bawat kwento ng kung ano ang nangyari sa isat isa, ngayon parang wala ng ganun, di na kayo nag kwekwentuhan bago matulog, di na kayo nag uupdate ng ginagawa nyo sa mga time na hindi kayo magkasama.
Hindi na enjoyable ang mga activities
Noong bago pa lang ang relasyon nyo, parang lahat ng bagay na ginagawa nyo ay enjoyable at ang saya saya nyo. Masaya kayo pag magkasama kayo kakain, masaya kayo pag namamasyal, masaya kayo kahit saan kayo mag punta, pero ngayon parang wala na lang, wala ng small talks habang kumakain, nag dadate kayo pero parang mas nka focus kayo sa social media nyo sa cellphone tapos parang nagiging sapilitan pa at obligasyon ang pagsama sa mga family gatherings.
Wala ng Romance
Sa sobrang cold ng relationship nyo, wala ng landian, yung mga kiss na ginagawa nyo eh parang ordinary na naging form of greetings na lang at hindi na action of love. yung sex life nyo parang naging obligasyon na lang din at hindi na dahil sa kinikilig kayo at na e excite sa isat isa.
Excuses Para dika Maka Sama
Masasabi mong tumatabang na ang relasyon nyo kapag masyado nang madaming excuse ang kapartner mo para dika makasama or di kayo magkita. Busy sa work, busy sa ganto, busy sa ganyan, namatay ang pusa ng kapitbahay nila at kung anu ano pang rason.
If parang ganito ang scenario ng relasyon mo, matabang na ang relasyon mo, possible naman na nag sanay na kayo sa isat isa pero pag pinabayaan mo na ganto ang nangyayari sa relasyon nyo at mas lumala pa dito, wag kang mag taka if one day ay bigla na lang kayo mag hihiwalay.
So paano nga ba gagawing warm ulit ang relationship na unti unti or halos cold na? Para ma ayos ito, kailangang umaksyon ang mas may isip at pang unawa, kung ikaw yun, ikaw ang umaksyon.
Sa relasyon, mahirap alamin kung sino talaga ang tama at sino ang mali, kasi kadalasan pag pinag uusapn yung gantong bagay, mas lalo pang lumalala imbes na maayos, if gusto mo talaga na mabalik ng gaya sa dati, magkusa kana.
Dalasan ang pakiki pag usap sa kapartner mo
Dalasan mo ang pag kwekwento sa kapartner mo, ikwento mo kung ano nangyari sayo today, kung nasa bahay ka lang at wala namang nangyayari sa yo na ka kwento kwento, i kwento mo yung mga napanood mo sa youtube na nakakatawa, magkwento ka ng bagong idea na naisip mo or lugar na pwede nyong pasyalan. Mas ok kung mag kwekwento ka ng mga bagay na interesado sya. Jowa mo naman yan, siguro naman alam mo kung anong bagay sya interesado. pwede mo ding ikwento yung past na mga ginagawa nyo noong time na mainit pa ang pag mamahalan nyo, kung paano mo pinagselosan yung ka work nya etc at kung anu ano pa, pero syempre kwento mo yon as happy and funny memory.
Plan A Date
Magplano ka ng magagandang date weekly, mga short distance lang, wag yung sobrang tagal na mabobored sya at mapapansin mo na naiinip sya, i consider mo din sya sa pag pa plan mo, hindi yung ikaw lang ang mag e enjoy. Pwede ding simple lang like movie nite, mag prepare ka ng masasarap na chicha like pizza na pwede nyong kainin habang na nonood ng magandang movie sa Netflix.
Praise Your Partner
Purihin mo yung partner mo sa mga maliliit na bagay, yung malalaman nya na na aappreciate mo sya, minsan yung maliliit na bagay sa atin ay malaking bagay na sa iba. Kahit na boladas lang sabihin mo na pumopogi/gumaganda ka yata ngayon.
Show interest
If may isang bagay na napansin mo na hilig ng partner mo, show interest, ask questions, nakakatuwa kasi kapag may interesado sa mga bagay na gusto mo, nararamdaman mo na may value yung ginagawa mo. tanong tanong konti konte kahit echos lang
Seduction
Kahit sa bahay lang kayo, mag ayos ka, mag pa pogi ka o mag pa ganda, bumili ng bagong cologne na hindi pa nya na aamoy na gamit mo. ibahin mo hairstyle mo ngayon, huwag yung usual na hairstyle mo na 48 years mo nang itsura. try mo din mag pa fit dahil bak naman out of shape kana at mismong ikaw eh hindi na natutuwa sa itsura mo.
Hindi naman garantisado ang mga tips na ito pero ano ba naman ang mawawala kung susubukan mo? Mas mabuti ng may gain ka kesa sa unti unti na lang maging singlamig ng ice buko ang relasyon nyo.
How to bring warmth back into a relationship that feels cold?
Is your love turning cold lately? Do you have a partner but still feel lonely? If you’re at that stage in your relationship and don’t know what to do, here are some tips to give your love life a chance to heat up again.
There really is no expert in love life, and I’m not saying that I’m an expert in love life either. It just so happens that I have experiences that I think I can share that might help if you’re in the same situation.
Many cold relationships end up in failed relationships because they are neglected. Others think that it is normal for this to happen in relationships, that eventually partners get tired of each other. If that’s your view, then you’re basically saying that it’s okay to find a new partner in the future, that it’s okay to replace something even if it’s not broken.
But before we learn about possible solutions, let’s first identify the signs of a struggling relationship.
Lack of Communication If you used to talk a lot and really enjoyed each other’s stories about what happened to each other, now it seems like there’s none of that anymore. You don’t talk before going to bed, you don’t update each other on what you’re doing when you’re not together.
Activities are no longer enjoyable When your relationship was new, it seemed like everything you did was enjoyable and you were very happy. You were happy when you ate together, happy when you went out, happy wherever you went. But now it seems like there’s nothing, no small talks while eating, you go on dates but you’re more focused on your social media on your cellphone and it seems like going to family gatherings is becoming more of an obligation.
No more Romance
Your relationship has become so cold that there’s no more flirting. The kisses you give each other have become ordinary forms of greetings and not actions of love. Your sex life has become more of an obligation and not because you’re excited and thrilled with each other.
Excuses to avoid being together
You can say that your relationship is struggling when your partner makes too many excuses to avoid being together or seeing each other. Busy with work, busy with this, busy with that, the neighbor’s cat died, and other reasons.
If this is the scenario in your relationship, then your relationship is already dull. It’s possible that you’ve gotten used to each other, but if you let this happen in your relationship and it gets worse, don’t be surprised if one day you suddenly break up.
So how do you make a relationship that’s slowly or almost cold warm again? To fix this, the one who is more thoughtful and understanding needs to take action, and if that’s you, then you should take action.
In a relationship, it’s difficult to know who’s really right and who’s wrong, because often when you talk about these things, it only gets worse instead of better. If you really want to go back to the way things were before, you should take the initiative.
Talk to your partner more often
Talk to your partner more often, tell them what happened to you today, if you’re at home and nothing is happening, tell them about the funny things you saw on YouTube, tell them about a new idea you had or a place you can go together. It’s better if you talk about things that interest them. They’re your partner, so you probably know what they’re interested in. You can also tell them about the things you both did in the past when your love was still hot, how you got jealous of their co-worker, etc., but of course, tell them as happy and funny memories.
Plan a beautiful date
Plan a beautiful date weekly, short distances only, not too long that your partner will get bored and you’ll notice that they’re getting impatient. Consider them when planning, not just yourself. It can be simple like movie night, prepare delicious food like pizza that you can eat while watching a good movie on Netflix.
Praise your partner for the little things
let them know that you appreciate them. Sometimes the little things mean a lot to others. Even if it’s just a joke, tell them that they look handsome/beautiful today.
Show interest
If you notice something that your partner likes, show interest, ask questions. It’s fun when someone is interested in the things you like, you feel that what you’re doing has value. Ask a few questions, even if they’re silly.
Seduction
Even if you’re just at home, dress up, make yourself look handsome or beautiful, buy a new cologne that they haven’t smelled on you yet. Change your hairstyle now, not the usual hairstyle you’ve had for 48 years. Try to get fit because if you’re out of shape and you’re not happy with your appearance, how can you expect your partner to be happy with it?"
These tips are not guaranteed, but there’s nothing to lose if you try them. It’s better to do something with your relationship than to let it slowly become as cold as an ice.
I hope these tips help you if you’re in this stage of your relationship. Feel free to add other tips that can help other readers who may need this advice.