Brief aside to begin…
I’ve sorta been feeling like “I don’t really have any original ’message’ to share…” listening to people speak of this as though many of us are “called” to spread some gospel or another, large or small - “speaking your Truth,” or getting some ’must-know’ knowledge out into the world - I dunno if it’s perhaps something more characteristic of the 5 “heretic” lines (Human Design) or what, but the more honest I’ve been with myself… I don’t fucking know what “my message” is, let alone actually feel like I have one…
Over the last few years, if anything, I’ve gotten quieter - and almost feeling like it’s come from a place of wisdom. Though… yin-yang. At the same time, I’ve certainly shut down ‘my voice’ out of some sorta ‘traumatic’-sequence response, having been outspoken about truths over the last three years to which I was collectively condemned, gaslit, and judged as some ‘crazy conspiracy theorist’ - nothing personal, of course, just tribalistic social programming & collective cognitive bias lashing out at what threatens it at its finest/worst. Though irregardless, it was perhaps through all that I’ve come to this “realization” of feeling as though “I” don’t particularly have a unique message ’of my own.’ (At least that I’m consciously aware of.)
Rather, while I’ve certainly talked - and definitely written - “too much” at times, passionately giving voice to a variet of issues, it is feeling increasingly as though the content isn’t particularly original or unique in any way that could be accurately owned as “mine.” It’s taken a while to observe the patterns, but seems alot more as though much of what I say/write is merely a mashed-up regurgitation of what I’ve heard from others. Ego probably doesn’t like to admit it, but self-honesty has its merit. Or at the least, what “original” content/messaging that has come through me might be more an amalgamation and/or byproduct of what I’ve taken in from elsewhere. Of course, many have said “creativity” is often like this - little being entirely “original” unto itself, but rather just different configurations of the same core elements shuffled around and reordered slightly differently, perhaps with some new strokes or a touch of peculiar flair added. And there surely is truth to that - having immersed myself in tons of content from a wide variety of domains & fields, I’ve seen that dynamic at play; especially in the often-overlapping realms of self-help, personal development, hustle-culture, motivational who-haaa, inspirational dogma, life coaching, etc - with essentially the same elemental principles & platitudes rearranged in different packaging, a limited number of foundational concepts pieced together like Lego blocks into a limited number of shapes,
the same core programs expressed through thousands of different “individuals” so predictably and coherently they appear as NPCs when stepping back far enough to see the flock’s synchronization. But lest I digress too far…
This concept/insight has been on my mind for a while. And thus part of why I haven’t been writing (or speaking) much; like, ”why just add more noise of regurgitated opinions to the choir of countless humans parroting talking points with little to add other than distortions of unprocessed emotion.” Though as per the “waiting to respond” of my Manifestor Generator type, there came a culmination of two different inputs last night apparently fusing together in some sort of reaction with the product of this “message” to be expressed. “Original” or not, I dunno. But perhaps sometimes the thought-terminating cliche, ”is it what it is,” serves a worthy purpose to cease potentially limitless overanalysis and get one focused.
Input #1… after months of putting it off, I finally started The Leo King’s “Hypergate 2.0” course a couple nights ago. As mentioned frequently, the dude is my all-time favorite astrologer - a master of his craft. Having the Human Design incarnation cross of Distraction, he can definitely get off on some tangents alot, and having taken the course seriously enough to slow it down from my usual 1.5-2x to normal speed, the majority of the first couple classes seemed painfully slow (although there are surely some who read my blog and think the same - especially when it takes a thousand words of digression to even begin getting to “the point,” lol.) But as always, along come the gems. And a message of “his own” that while my mind & ego mighta wanted to deny/reject it, struck that sacral of mine waiting for something to respond to with the undeniable “uh huh,” albeit with reservation and self-consciousness: that in these times we’re in, we need ‘prophets;’ that those of us who in some way or another ended up on this planet as part of the “lightworkers” serving in this phase of evolution need to speak up and share what we must. (That seems a rather basic, boring way of wording it, though I’m unable to remember his exact words of translate the same sense of impact they had as striking my eardrums & spirit.)
Input #2… voice-messaging with my good friend (also an astrologer) Paula Shaw last night, there was one of those moments observing words flow out of my own mouth, conveying a message - feeling somewhere between strained as though forcing them out with friction and just naturally releasing something it was time for; though with the mind in its self-consciousness, doubting the value of the content, given it was essentially a rehash of a something I’ve heard from others a hundred different times. But apparently, my self-doubt over the “originality” of the message was no reflection of its value or impact - waking up to a message back from Paula indicating she was particularly taken with the perspective, that of ‘focusing on tuning our instrument first and foremost as the best thing we can do, while the world unfolds as it will, to ensure our unique frequency is refined as it can be - contributing that, whether it’s transmission through the heart has some sort of quantum ripple effect, redirecting the trajectory of our quantum hologram to a higher vibration (as per the fundamental message of Marina Jacobi’s “Harmonic Reactor / Quantum Manifestation” or other outlooks), or not. “I’m having one of those ‘ah-ha’ moments like I smoked weed, but I haven’t. Gotta sit with and integrate this. Yeah,” she spoke with a tone expressive of complete authenticity.
Thus, with the seeding from Leo King’s call-to-action last night, further activated by the experiential confirmation that even an “unoriginal” (as judged by the hypercritical mind) communication can have a shocking impact on the right person @ the right time… here we are to follow through. (And 1120 words into the intro without having even grazed the original intended topic. Hahaha! Though I suppose as with any sort of “channeling,” the “message” isn’t really up for us to decide/choose - only to serve as a conduit for it to flow through, allowing the flexibility to stream through what wants/needs to when it’s time. And apparently, this whole transmission was to contain more than merely the first idea that came through last night.
Anyways, now that we’re about finally ready to get into it… I’m gonna split this into a multi-parter, since attention spans here are short these days. Part Two can be read here… 😜