When I was young, my grandfather lived with us in the family home, with his woodworking shed out the back filled with tools, a darkroom where he developed his own colour photography, and a sense of humour that was for the time, considered Australian wit - clever, cutting, but never cruel.
In many ways, he was a role model.
I was twelve when he passed away, and due to a fall that broke his neck four years prior, dementia had taken him rapidly, as he lost his mobility, and could no longer drive. Maybe it would have got him anyway, but up until that point, he was in pretty good nick for an old fella. I wish I had been able to spend more time actually talking with him about his experiences, but at that age, I didn't ask the right questions. And even if I had, I was likely too young to fully appreciate the replies.
Back then, there were family friends around quite often of the kind we would call family, not friends. They were my uncles, one from eastern Europe who fought in WW2 against the Nazis and emigrated to Australia with his wife, who was a prima ballerina before the war. Another, a Persian who left Iran due to persecution and become one of the foremost in his field of science globally, was another uncle - his children my unrelated cousins - big sisters in a way. Again, these people were role models.
It is not that they had left perfect lives and I am sure that they made many errors along the way, but they were people who one could look up to and see the value they bring to the world. One in the work he still does today, the other in the way he was, like a quiet philosopher who had seen the worst of humanity.
My father was another person who I think many saw as a role model and I have written about here, many years ago. A good man. a skilled man. Someone who did a lot for people to the point it might have been too much, but what made him good was that his heart never had cruelty in it. There was occasionally anger, but there was never vengeance. I don't want to be like my father in many ways, but again, in many others, he was a role model too.
We all have role models.
They influence and shape us, guide our thoughts and actions and will impact on who we become, what we become, how we treat others, and how we consider our place in the world. Yet, with the changes in society and culture, are the role models healthy, are they even there?
When I was a kid, superheroes used to be the kind of people kids wanted to be like, because yes they were strong, but they were also good. Nowadays, it is hard to tell who is the hero and who is the villain. And while this might resemble reality and be more relatable for the audience, the whole point of superheroes is that they are super. They are not meant to be like humans, they are meant to be more than human. They are meant to be the shining beacon to lift ourselves toward, not someone that makes us feel comfortable to stay the same. Now, the only difference between the superhero and me, is they have powers.
In my opinion, the breakdown of society has led to a situation where we are less connected to others, our circles of friends have become transactional acquaintances. And instead, we look globally to people who are selling themselves for attention to be our guiding force, the ones we want to imitate, our role models for ourselves, and for our children.
Yet, if we really wanted healthy role models, we would surround ourselves with the people who we can admire locally. Real people, people who have built themselves in the background, who have put in the work without looking for attention, who have overcome unimaginable challenges right there, next to us, surrounded by the same environment that we inhabit. People who have varied pasts, but have come into that environment and kept on shining.
I wish my daughter was surrounded by shining lights.
I wish there were more good people in her life.
But we don't live in that world anymore, where good people interact openly in ways that it is clear that they are good. We no longer get to know each other well, we are no longer open to even talk with strangers, unless we want something from them. The community has largely gone, and people are instead looking to maximise themselves, which makes sense, because it is the path of the media influencer. The celebrity role model. People who aren't celebrated for their skill, but desired for their personal lives, which are lived publicly. And if that is what their public persona is like, imagine behind closed doors.
It is no wonder that men follow people like Andrew Tate.
Because in the community, male role models are few and far between, and the only ones that get attention, are those who make enough money to command it. People no longer want to be good, they want to be rich. And if anything, being good is a roadblock to wealth, not an enabler. And the women are no different, looking up to the Taylor Swifts and Kardashians and whoever else is on TikTok as a model of what they should look to achieve in their lives.
The media isn't filled with skills, it is filled with personalities.
And those personalities are largely false personas - an act.
We are what we eat.
And just like how the majority of humanity is overweight today, yet starved of nutrition, I think it is the same for our role models. What we have on our role model plate is fast food with no substance, that tastes good, but leads to illness. We aren't surrounded by healthy choices - we are bombarded with over-processed, over-sweetened, unrealistic, substitutes.
We crave goodness.
Yet eat cardboard cutouts.
When my daughter looks back on her childhood.
Who will she still value?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]