I've turned into one of them.
A hydrangea owner.
The shame.
I think I carry some kind of floral scarring from my childhood, as my mother had several hydrangea bushes in pots around, and for some reason I associate them with that period in life. However, I am trying long-term exposure therapy to overcome my phobia, by growing my own in the yard. We have two varieties of grandiflora (yeah, I even fucking know the species), with two bushes and two tree versions. The tree versions should look pretty good once they have had a few years to grow, but we are a bit surprised that they are flowering this year already, as are the bush ones.
Granted, up close the flowers of hydrangeas are pretty, as they look like clusters of butterflies hang around together at the bar, looking for a promiscuous end to the night. Ours are white to match our house, but as the flowers mature into the autumn, they should turn pink to provide some colour against the grey skies. They will take 5-10 years to fully mature supposedly, so there is plenty of time for me to kill them before that yet to come.
For now, they are doing well.
The warmish weather should continue this week, but there might be some thunderstorms along with it. I will try to spend as much time outside as possible though, soaking in some light and colour before the drudgery of leafless autumn begins. There is still the autumn colours to enjoy before that though, and maybe as it gets darker, a chance to see some aurora patterns in the sky.
This is a bit of an event week, with Smallsteps' birthday, and then a bit of a milestone anniversary, as my wife and I will celebrate ten years of marriage. However, "time married" is not a very good metric, as while something like half of marriages end in divorce (including people getting married multiple times that skew the numbers), there are many, many couples that are married, but aren't happily married. They stay together for one reason or another, but staying together doesn't speak to the quality of the marriage itself.
Should time be celebrated?
It is like surviving a long time, but not living a good life. What is the point of living for a hundred miserable years? Wouldn't fifty great years be better? The same goes for relationships I suspect. A great relationship that runs its course and ends amicably, is probably better than one that drags out much longer and becomes bitter and spiteful.
Time, a construct, is not very important in terms of quality of life I believe. Yet, we seem to spend a lot of our effort on extending our time on this earth, without really considering whether our life is up to our own quality standards. Some people spend all their energy trying to feel good, only to end up continually feeling worse. Whilst others spend all their energy trying to jump through hoops of fantasy to live in a life after death. And there is plenty of people doing all kinds of things in between - like growing hydrangeas.
Not that I know what quality of life is for you, because I don't even know for myself - but I don't think it is found in front of a screen, behind a church door, or at the bottom of a bottle. I think quality of life is when all the important aspects of life are in harmony, where they are all aligned around a grand core of meaning. Like the petals of a flower surrounding the pistil.
In it for a long time, not a good time.
While reversed from the usual phrase, both of those are pretty poor metrics of a valuable life, aren't they? Perhaps we should consider more the quality of life we lead - and I mean really consider it - not just throw around some words. Everyone talks about "quality of life" but can't define it.
I lied before.
I know what quality of life is for me. Or at least, I know how to measure whether there is quality of life. It all comes down to the health of the relationships I have. Not just with other people, but with all the things and ideas and beliefs I have that I interact with each day.
It is silly to dislike a flower because of childhood experiences.
Flowers are just flowers.
Taraz
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